


Something To Hold On To

by MaJeStitch



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Adorkable Lexa, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aussie!Clarke, Bad Temper!Clarke, Badass Clarke, But Also Soft Kitten Clarke, College AU, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Music Nerds, Will Take No BS!Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2018-12-13 15:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11762757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaJeStitch/pseuds/MaJeStitch
Summary: When Clarke's night end up in a bar brawl, she's pretty sure the only possible good outcome to this awful day is the bottle of rum awaiting her back in her dorm, but life is a funny thing, and maybe the brunette with beautiful green eyes that made her lose it in the first place might actually be the one who can tame her temper and distressed heart."Lexa couldn't believe her ears. Of course she knew who Clarke Griffin was! Apart from the fact that they had been sharing a couple classes those past two years, Clarke was a legend here: music genius, best student the music department had ever had the honor to teach, sexy bi badass from Australia, and she was only a sophomore. The whole school either wanted to be her or do her, and sometimes both. And there, that very same person was rambling to her about not knowing if it was okay for their shoulders to brush."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little something that I started working on a few months ago, I wasn't planning on posting it at first, but stories are supposed to be shared, so I hope you'll enjoy it! Please let me know what you think in the comments: criticism, suggestions, I'm open to anything!

It had been a long set, a long night, and a long day in general. Clarke had never reached the back door of the bar so fast before. Hardly a step outside, she was already inhaling her first drag, letting the smoke sit for a long time in her lungs before exhaling, letting it unwind the knots in her stomach for a bit. Today was a bad day, today was the worst probably, but in two hours she would be back at her place, able to drink herself into oblivion and just black out on the ratty carpet in her room.

That was by far the best possible outcome to this day, the cigarette she was desperately puffing on doing little to appease her rattled nerves. Everything was just too overwhelming: the slight sheen of sweat covering her like a smothering second skin, the beat coming from inside that she could feel pounding through her body, the heavy humidity making each breath feel like she was drowning in the Californian heat. She felt like punching something, or running, running as far and as fast as she could, outrunning her mind, letting it all behind. Yeah. As if. She’d done it before, didn’t change much. Nearly 8,000 miles away, same issues. She couldn’t help a self-deprecating snicker at that one.

“Hey!”

She turned around, and was confused to find a girl staring at her. She had a bad feeling, or maybe it was just that it was a bad day, but she could already feel blood rushing faster through her veins, the dull strum of it against her temple. Nope, na-ha, now was definitely not the time for that sort of thing.

“Ever heard that smoke was bad for you?”

Yup, that was it. That was her breaking point. She’d been working so hard all day to keep calm, stay under control, but now that was all ruined two hours before the end of her shift. Great!

“Are you fucking serious with that joke? Hum? Let me guess, ‘you can give me a better time’? How many times do I need to tell you guys, I don’t fuck around! I’m bi, I’m not your fucking sexual identity counselor or some shit! So if you want to ‘experiment’ just ask your sorority sisters! Hell! Know what? Here’s some numbers for you! Guaranteed not gay, won’t get attached, won’t get you pregnant, but look out for gonorrhea, you never fucking know!”

She ended her outburst by flicking a handful of pieces of papers at the girl’s face. All sporting a phone number and some incentive to call or a winky face. She was done, the joke had lasted far too long! She was going to kill Raven, maybe then she would have some peace. Fucking peace and quiet. Fuck that, just some hard liquor would do. The situation only worsened with the arrival of soon-to-be-dead Raven Reyes.

“What is going on, here? Clarke? What are you doing?”

“What is wrong with you?”

Not even sparing a glance at the girl, she turned toward Raven.

 “You dipstick! You think it’s funny? Today of all days? Just throwing some fuckgirl my way with that fucking cigarette line? Fuck you, Raven!!”

Each word was making her angrier. Adrenalin washing through her system, she was seeing red, this evening was going to end in a bloodbath. Approaching Raven, she felt like a wolf scoping for preys, her fists coiled by her side, ready to strike at any sudden move.

“Hey, Clarke, take a breather here, I didn’t send anyone, so slow down.”

That didn’t deter Clarke in any way, it was too late. She just needed someone to step out of line. When some guy finally tried to grasp her arm to stop her, a vicious smile bloomed on her face, and she cracked her neck. The game was on.

“Clarke, no!”

She hadn’t even registered Raven’s warning before decking the guy in the stomach.

“Shit! Clarke stop!”

It felt so good, she needed more. She hoped the guy knew what he was doing, she wanted this to be a fair fight: it would last longer. Just as that moment she felt his fist hit her in the face. Her nose felt numb, and she could taste blood in her mouth. He had definitely cut her lip, but she couldn’t feel anything. For now. Tomorrow was going to be a bitch.

She readied herself to go for it again, facing her opponent. She could finally see his face clearly. He was an average Californian boy: tanned skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. She nearly felt like rolling her eyes, now she just wanted to break his nose. Aiming her punch, she was about to take another swing at him, when suddenly the humid and stifling heat in the air was replaced by ice cold water.

The tactic, though pretty ruthless, had the advantage of making the fight break right away and sobering up Clarke out of her blind rage. Her senses coming back to her, she was finally aware of the small crowd surrounding them, the worried expression on Raven’s face, the silence that followed, everybody holding their breath, waiting to see what would happen next...

She nearly startled when she heard the hose going off again, the guy had apparently thought he could take a chance while she was distracted, and was now drenched just like she was. She finally turned her now aching face toward the source of those cold showers.

“Want another one, champ, or you’re good?”

The cigarette girl. The very pretty cigarette girl actually. Clarke was stunned, she was about as tall as she was, with long, wavy brown air, and the most striking green eyes she had ever seen. Letting her eyes drift down, she also noticed that the girl seemed fit, slightly defined arms, long legs, tight waist, and from what she could see from this angle a booty that could make angels cry. On that last thought she was rewarded with yet another spray of water, and a scornful glare from cigarette girl. Now she was regretting her reaction, maybe she should have let herself be tempted for once...

“Eyes up here, idiot.”

She felt herself blush. It was ridiculous. Clarke Griffin, Aussie badass extraordinaire did not blush. Too drained to get mad at herself about it, she simply looked down at the ground where she spotted blood. Her own blood, by reflex she lifted up the hem of her shirt to press it against her nose and lip, revealing her toned abs. The light breeze felt good against her wet skin, making her cool down even more.

“Harper would you mind bringing back the first aid kit from my office.”

Raven’s voice sounded weary and exasperated.

“Monty, you think you could manage the next set?”

“I’m fine, I’ll do it!”

“The only thing you’ll do now is sit down, and shut up. You’ve done enough for the night Clarke.”

Feeling like a kicked puppy, she made her way toward the closest wall, and let herself slide down along it. Now that the episode had passed, she felt exhausted, cold and a bit nauseous. The smell and taste of her own blood were only making it worse. She was an idiot, how could she just explode like that? At work no less! Slowly bumping her head against the wall, she closed her eyes, her shirt still pressed against her nose.

“Open your mouth.”

The voice was soft, and just a bit raspy, nothing like how it had sounded when cigarette girl had yelled at her. Opening a skeptical eye, she finally relented when the girl raised an eyebrow in defiance. Holding her jaw, the girl very carefully put the hose at her mouse, letting the water trickle in, but stopped the second Clarke started gulping it down with urgency.

“Don’t drink just yet, rinse out your mouth.”

Now focused on the girl’s face, she did as she was told, even going as far as gargling a bit before spitting it out. Cigarette girl would probably deny it, but she had definitely seen a bit of an amused smile on her lips as she was rolling her eyes at her antics. Smiling up at her, the girl only raised her eyebrow again before grabbing her jaw a bit more forcefully and spraying the water softly again so she could drink.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have blown up like that. It’s not you.”

“That’s some pent up rage you had. A simple sorry would have suffice.”

“Sorry? Why?”

“For blowing your smoke in my direction, dumbass.”

“What?”

“Are you serious? I’d been trying to grab your attention for the past two minutes, and you just snickered at me. And when I pointed out that smoking was bad, so it would be great if you could do it somewhere else, you just exploded before I could finish!”

“Fuck… That’s not... I didn’t hear you, I swear! I thought you were another girl hitting on me with that stupid line.”

“A bit over-confident now, are we?”

Clarke could never back out of a challenge, especially when a pretty girl was involved. She was not one to sleep around, but she was a huge flirt none the less.

“Am I, though?”

She then just stared into the girl’s eyes with her signature smile. She knew she was attractive, her mind might be messed up, but her body was on point, she knew it. As if to prove her point, the girl’s pupils dilated slightly, her eyes drifting toward her smile. Just then, Raven was throwing the first aid kit and an ice pack in her lap, ruining the moment.

“I’ll let you deal with that. Then I want to see you in my office.”

“Sure thing, boss…Raven? Am I fired?”

Her voice had sure lost its assurance.

“I wish, but there’s no way I can make profit out of this bar without your absurd DJing skills. You owe me, though, dumbass.”

“You love me!”

“You wish!”

Raven added without even turning back, and strolling back into the bar. This put a small fond smile on her face. It was great to have someone on her side, Raven was one of the very few people she considered a friend here. She wouldn’t get a free pass, but she knew that she understood.

“Is she really just gonna let you patch yourself up on your own?”

The girl seemed affronted at the idea, which would have normally made Clarke grin mischievously, but with her busted lip she had to repress it.

“Are you worried about me, beautiful? Does that mean I’m forgiven for being an ass?”

The only answer she got was another little spray of water in her face, (which absolutely did not make her squeal, by the way) and the order to start cleaning up.

As she was expertly tending to her wounds, her concentration was interrupted by the raspy voice of the pretty girl beside her.

“You look like you really know what you are doing, champ.”

Her tone was accusing, and her eyes a bit more judgmental than Clarke was comfortable with. If her fight had not literally been extinguished out of her, she would be really annoyed right now, but she knew that she deserved it.

“Mum’s a surgeon, I’ve been surfing since I was four, and skating since I was 8. I know how to take care of my boo-boos, darling.”

At least, the girl had the decency of looking sheepish. She checked her nose next, it was not broken, but it was still bleeding.

“Hey, do you have a tampon by any chance? I’ve got to stop that nosebleed.”

“Yeah, sure.”

While she was rummaging through her purse, Clarke was able to appreciate again the beauty of that girl. She had the tiniest mole on her upper lip, and Clarke just wanted to kiss it. Then the lips in question started to move, and it was absolutely mesmerizing.

“Clarke!”

“Sorry, what?”

“Never mind, I’ll do it myself, give me some of that hydro alcoholic solution, and put your head up.”

“No, I’ll do it, don’t worry.”

“Don’t be a baby. Come on, chin up!”

“No!”

Clarke was still reluctant, so the girl grabbed her chin with her now sanitized hands, and forced it up. Clarke had already cleaned up the blood that had dried there, so she just pushed it in quickly trying not to hurt the girl.

“Ouch, ouch, no, ouch!”

“Stop whining, there, it’s done.”

Clarke was still whining, exhaustion starting to get to her. The adrenalin had cleared out of her system and the pain was slowly starting to radiate throughout her body. Her clothes were drenched, the slight night breeze was making her shiver, and the ground was cold, and the wall uncomfortable, and now her nose was throbbing even more! She felt like crying, she could feel her eyes fill with tears. It was too much, today was a bad day, today was the worst, and she really needed it to be over. She wanted to go back home, not in Raven’s office where she surely was about to be told off, or be faced with the stupid guy and have to say sorry so he wouldn’t press charges. Shit! She hadn’t even thought of that, great, he was going to go to the police, and she was going to be deported. The drop following her episodes tended to be bad, but this was by far the worst she had had.

“Hey, I’m sorry, did I really hurt you that bad?”

She had completely forgotten the presence of the girl, and startled a bit when she felt her hand on her chin.

“I’m so sorry.”

Her face crumpled at that, tears started to trickle down her face. It was more of a nervous bout of crying, her body was evacuating the rest of the tensions out. It was just embarrassing that it had to happen in front of the most gorgeous girl in California. She should have been at home, just her and some stubbies or maybe a bottle of rum. Looking around, she was happy to see that there was hardly anyone left there, and that nobody was looking at them.

“Ssh, it’s okay, you’re fine. It’s over. You’re cold, aren’t you? Let’s get you back inside, okay?”

Clarke was still sniffling, still shaken up by the eventful evening. She let the girl pull her to her feet, which made her feel dizzy. Losing her balance she grabbed onto the girl’s shoulders to wait out the dizziness. They were close, very close. Clarke could smell a mix of a sort of fresh flowery perfume and…baby’s head?

“You smell like a baby.”

She just blurted it out. Great. Yet another embarrassment! If her face had not already been so flushed she might have blushed. The giggle that escaped the brunette made it better, though.

“Yes, Clarke, I use baby shampoo.”

As if to make sure, Clarke, still grasping onto the brunette to keep her balance, pushed her nose deeper into her hair, taking a big breath. She wanted to stay here, right here. The girl was warm, and soft, and smelled so good. She smelled like something new, a breath of fresh air. Her eyes were closing, her body involuntarily melting into the brunette’s, her mind shutting down now that she knew she was safe.

“Smells good.”

“Don’t fall asleep, let’s get you inside, alright?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Finally realizing that, huh? My name is Alexandria.”

They were now stepping back into the bar, so Clarke leaned even closer to her ear to be heard over the music.

“Alexandria... That’s pretty.”

She said in a yawn. Had she not been so out of it, she might have noticed that Lexa was blushing. They entered Raven’s office, Lexa’s arms wrapped around Clarke’s middle. Raven was on the phone, but she pointed toward the couch, so Lexa maneuvered them there. Raven concentrated back on her phonecall, doing her best to avoid a lawsuit against Clarke or the bar, sure he had grabbed her first, but she’d rather make sure that the guy wouldn’t try anything. Finally, the offer of unlimited drinks the next time he would come tided him over.

“Okay, good new-”

“Ssh, she’s asleep.”

And indeed, she was. Clarke was out, her body excessively leaning on Lexa, her head tucked on her shoulder, while Lexa still had her arms around her. Raven couldn’t help but raise a brow at the sight. Now that was a surprise! The rage, the fight, the first aid kit, pretty easy to predict, but definitely not that!

“You don’t hold grudges, do you?”

“We all have a breaking point, from what I gathered it was all a big misunderstanding.”

Raven was amused, and didn’t hide it. The girl had fought through her embarrassment, and defended herself with a professional tone, but the slight flex of her arms pulling Clarke closer did not go unnoticed.

“Sure, but still, thank you, she can be really hard to handle once she fires up. Thankfully this is a pretty rare occurrence. You can go if you want, I’ll call her a cab.”

That made the brunette frown down in worry at the girl in her arms.

“So what, you’re just going to shove her in a taxi and hope that she’ll make it inside her apartment?”

“Well, if I let her sleep on that couch she’s going to whine about it for weeks!”

“Can’t anyone drive her back?”

“She’s a big girl, she’ll be fine. Won’t be the first time, and probably not the last either! …Look. From what it looks like, we won’t be done here until 4 am, she’ll be better off at home, even if she does crash in her entryway.”

Raven was at first surprised, and a bit miffed at the implications of the brunette. It’s not that she didn’t care about Clarke’s wellbeing, they were friends, and she was simply doing what her friend at told her to do in this case: ‘put me in a taxi, give the cabbie my address, and I’ll deal with the rest.’ Thinking back on it, it’s true that she wasn’t particularly fond of the technique, but she had to admit that it seemed to be working just fine.

“Give me her address, I’ll take her back.”

“I don’t even know you, how is that any better?”

“Sure cause you know all the taxi drivers around here! I’m Alexandria Woods, I’m a music major here, want do to a background check too?”

Raven was preparing her own come back, when Clarke, half asleep, pushed her face deeper on the crook of Lexa’s neck, whining “too loud.”

“How do you feel, champ?”

“Cold…Tired.”

She pulled herself even tighter against Lexa, seeking out her warmth, her body shivering.

“She’s going to catch a cold. Just give me her address and I’ll make sure she gets there safely, takes a hot shower and goes to bed.”

Raven was still silent, debating her choice.

“Alright, know what? She’s drenched and in shock, if you won’t tell me, I’ll just get her back to my place. Come on, Clarke, let’s go.”

“Okay! Okay, bossy pants!”

Raven grabbed a piece of paper, and wrote down the address, then went in the back to retrieve Clarke’s stuff while Lexa was struggling to detach Clarke from her enough to be able to walk.

“Noo… To cold!”

“I know, I’m sorry. We’ll be in the car soon, I’ll put the heat on. Come on, work with me, champ. You’ll sleep in the car.”

Raven came back, Clarke longboard in hand with her jacket, backpack and snapback.

“Wait, let’s get her out of her shirt, it’s soaked through and people will probably think she actually murdered the guy with the quantity of blood on it. She’ll warm up faster with just her jacket.”

“Hum…Yeah, sure.”

“You okay there, boss? Looking a little flushed.”

Raven was enjoying herself, she had to admit it. She had already caught the girl checking out Clarke’s abs when she had first lifted up her shirt, and she wasn’t fairing any better now that Raven was taking it off of a very reluctant Clarke. Raven nearly snorted when Clarke just pressed herself completely against the girl once the shirt was off, making her look up at the ceiling.

“Come on, Strayer, put your jacket on instead of rubbing yourself against the pretty girl.”

“Shut up, Raven.”

“I’ll let you zip her up.”

Lexa was a mess. She was forced to put her hands in between their bodies because Clarke was a shivering mess and wouldn’t let go of her. She could feel each bump of the taut stomach under her hands as she was zipping her up. She couldn’t explain what was happening to her, but the blonde definitely had some effect on her. She didn’t know why she was so invested, but she just couldn’t put the girl in a cab and hope for the best. The girl in her arms had nothing to do with the blood-thirsty one she had met in the back, she was soft, hurt and vulnerable, and Lexa felt the urge to make sure she would be fine.

The trip to the car was an adventure, but between Raven, Lexa and Clarke -when she would actually stay awake more than 10 seconds- they were now on their way to Clarke’s place. The drive was quiet, the silence only interrupted by Lexa’s phone giving her indications, the hum of the heater and the soft snores of the blond curled up in the passenger seat. Now parked in front of the dorm, Lexa took a deep breath. Fatigue was finally catching up to her, and there was still so much to do. Clarke lived on the 3rd floor, which meant she had a single, but also meant that the floor shared a bathroom. The next hour was going to be exhausting.

\---

In the end, it wasn’t so bad, the presence of an elevator had been a great relief, Clarke was a bit more awake, but still feeling rather loopy and unsteady. Once on the right floor, finding the right door and key had gone smoothly, and now Lexa was waiting for Clarke to come out of the shower. The blonde had thanked her and insisted that she could go, but Lexa had argued that she had not done all that to learn that Clarke had cracked her skull open fainting in the shower. Leaving no space for argument, she had grabbed Clarke’s clean clothes and marched to the bathroom.

“Alexandria?”          

Clarke faint voice pulled her to her feet right away.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, huh, I’m done. Could you…Could you turn around?”

Clarke was cringing at her own awkwardness. She was not exactly used to having someone take care of her in those moments, just thinking back on her behavior with Lexa, she felt mortified. She couldn’t deny it felt good though, a lot better than anything she had tried so far. It felt safer too, she had nearly felt like crying when Lexa insisted on staying with her to make sure she wouldn’t hurt herself.

“Yeah, no problem, you can come out.”

She hurried through putting on her pajamas, trying to be done as soon as possible, but that was without counting on her newly acquired balance problems. As she was trying to find the hole in her joggers, balancing on one leg, she lost her balance and started to fall. Thankfully, instead of kissing the floor face first, she was pushed back into a body that she now was more familiar with than she’d like to admit.

“Ok, batman, how about a little help?”

Clarke hadn’t exactly taken into account the possibility that Lexa might see her underwear when she chose her Batman boy shorts. Without further ado, Lexa kneeled in front of her and helped her pull up her pants. Getting up, she readjusted her shirt, and brushed back her hair away from her forehead.

“You need to dry your hair.”

Clarke’s eyes were closed. Guiding hands, soft touches, hair rubbing, she was in heaven. Her heart was still beating fast from her fright. Lexa couldn’t repress a small smile seeing Clarke soften and relax at her touch.

“Do you have a hair dryer?”

“…My room.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

Lexa softly grabbed her hand and shower caddy, and walked back to Clarke’s room. Clarke started taking care of her hair, but the task was just too tiring at this point, and the heat was making her sleepy, so she stopped after a while.

“Come on, Clarke, you’re not done. You’ll get sick if you go to bed with your hair wet.”

“No, I’m too tired…”

Okay, she was whining, even she would admit that, but it was simply too hard.

“Come here, sit down.”

Grabbing the brush and hair dryer, Lexa sat Clarke between her legs on the bed, and gently brushed and dried it methodically. By the end, she passed her hands though the blonde’s soft hair to make sure that it was perfectly dry, making Clarke purr in contentment in her half-awake state.

“All good, time to go to bed.”

“Five more minutes.”

The words were mumbled, and deep down Lexa knew Clarke was too out of it to even notice if she was still here or not, but she reasoned that it was okay to do it. It had been a hard night for Clarke, and she deserved to have her very soft and good-smelling hair petted for just a bit longer.

\---

“Achoo!”

The sneeze woke up both girls, one because it had wrecked through her body, the other because something had just sneezed in her neck. With reality settling back in, they realized in which position they were: Lexa still had her back against the wall and her feet dangling off the bed, and she was holding Clarke that had turned in her sleep and was now nuzzling her neck. Once again embarrassed by how clingy she was acting, Clarke nearly jumped out of bed.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t notice I had fallen asleep! Oh my god, it’s 4 in the morning! Huh, you can stay here if you want, I’ll…I’ll sleep on the floor or something, I can also go sleep in the TV room downstairs, I’m so sorry!”

“Clarke, stop making noise, go blow your nose and come back to bed, it’s 4 am for god’s sake!”

Clarke was shocked to say the least. She took note that Lexa was not a morning person… Not that she needed to know that, or anything…

“Hurry up! And take like a Tylenol and some Nyquil if you have some.”

“So bossy…”

“I swear I’ll hog all the blankets!”

That put Clarke into action, doing just as she was told, she blew her nose, took some medicine, and even put a tissue box beside her bed. Admittedly, she did not really know what else to do, she was out of her comfort zone. She had never before waken up with a stranger in her bed. Her reputation was what is was, but in reality she hadn’t been with anyone in nearly two years, and never even had a one-night-stand. So there she was, like an idiot in front of her own bed not knowing what to with herself, or rather about the pretty girl currently under the covers. The fuzziness of her brain was not helping, her head was pounding, her nose was blocked, and each breath gave her a sort of tickling feeling in her lungs. All that on top of the whole “was in a fight 4 hours ago” situation.

“Are you just gonna sleep standing up, now? Come here.”

Having someone invite her into her own bed was weird. It was also a tight fit, and she didn’t really know what to do with herself, but she got in, trying somehow to keep her distance.

“Where did all that bravado go, champ? You do realize you’re about to fall off, right?”

“It’s…It’s a bit of a tight fit.”

“Am I making you uncomfortable? I can go you know. I don’t live far.”

“No! No, I mean, you can if you’re not comfortable, I’m just… Like, I know about all those rumors about me, but I’m not, well, like that at all. It’s the first time that’s I’ve shared my room, or well a bed with someone since my last relationship. I’m completely out-of-depth here, and you’ve been really awesome tonight, so I don’t want to do something stupid. And now I’m rambling, and you probably don’t even know who I am, sorry…”

Lexa couldn’t believe her ears. Of course she knew who Clarke Griffin was! Apart from the fact that they had been sharing a couple classes those past two years, Clarke was a legend here: music genius, best student the music department had ever had the honor to teach, sexy bi badass from Australia, and she was only a sophomore. The whole school either wanted to be her or do her, and sometimes both. And there, that very same person was rambling to her about not knowing if it was okay for their shoulders to brush.

“I made it weird, didn’t I?”

Lexa couldn’t hold back a laugh at that. It was all so ridiculous, she was in bed with the legendary Clarke Griffin that she had pulled into and out of a fight just a couple hours ago, tended to her wound, let her sleep on her and even dried her hair.

“You know what I think? That you are overthinking this. It’s the first time since we’ve met that you seem to have a problem with sleeping in close proximity to me.”

And there was that blush again, Lexa was teasing her, and Clarke thought it was pretty unfair. It was also probably the most social interactions she had had in months. Clarke nearly rolled her eyes at herself, she was such a stereotype, the whole “broody and mysterious” character that simply turned out to be lonely.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, I don’t do that usually.”

“What do you do usually?”

Clarke hadn’t expected that, but it was great, it was taking her mind away from the situation for a bit. Lexa had even turned on her side to face her, which Clarke copied unconsciously.

“More like punch a wall or get really drunk alone in my apartment.”

“That sounds sad and lonely.”

Clarke just shrugged, a bit embarrassed at admitting that out loud. Lexa felt heartbroken, the idea of Clarke dealing with this alone not sitting well with her. She tentatively put her hand back in Clarke’s hair, and her reaction was immediate, her whole body relaxed at the contact. She was such a kitten, Lexa couldn’t get over it. When Lexa started scratching her scalp, she even moved a bit closer before opening her eyes and looking uncertainly at Lexa.

“Come here. I didn’t peg the legendary Clarke Griffin for a cuddler.”

“So you do know who I am.”

“Of course, dummy! The whole school knows the dropship’s DJ. And for your information, we’ve had classes together.”

“I know. Your aural skills are really impressive.”

“So you know me too.”

“To be fair, it only came back to me in the shower. I think I was a bit too out of it before to make the connection.”

“Did you start working on Mrs. Greenfield’s assignment?

“God, this thing is a nightmare.”

From then on the atmosphere shifted to something more domestic, both girls were pressed against each other, quietly talking and laughing until sleep reclaimed them. It was completely surreal to both girls, but it felt good and right, and that’s what mattered the most at that moment.

\---

When morning came, neither had moved apart, even Lexa’s fingers were still tangled in the blonde’s hair. Light started to filter in slowly, disturbing their peaceful sleep. Eyes started to blink, limbs pushed and pulled against each other’s, soon they couldn’t avoid it anymore, the night had been short, but it was time to wake up again.

Clarke was fighting with all her might, though. Nuzzling deeper to ward off the sun. It was not because her blocked nostrils wouldn’t let her take in the beautiful smell she knew was right there that she would move. She could feel the blood pumping through her cut lip and bruised nose, her nose and lungs were congested and she had the headache of a lifetime, and yet she wanted to stay in this moment forever. She hadn’t realized how touch deprived she had been, feeling Lexa’s arms around her and her warmth beneath her was amazing. She felt soothed, safe and cared for, and she just needed this to last a bit longer.

“Why didn’t we shut the blinds?”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile, it seemed like Lexa was grumpy in the morning, well, whenever she was woken up! Not wanting to aggravate her even more, she pulled the sheets over their heads.

“No…It’s too hot. Why are you so warm?”

As if by reflex, Lexa put the hand that was previously in Clarke’s hair on her forehead and her cheek.

“I think you’re burning up. Do you feel okay?”

Clarke simply nodded, definitely not willing to move or even speak.

“Clarke…”

The tone was demanding, and Clarke answered by shaking her head and burrowing closer against her side. It was cute, but Lexa was worried.

“Come on, show me your face.”

“Five more minutes.”

Turned out, her demand ended up being her downfall, the words caught in her throat and turned into a coughing fit. Lexa cringed at the sound, Clarke’s congestion was bad, and from the way Clarke was whining and holding her head it felt about as good as it sounded.

“Come on, sit up, I’ll stack some pillows behind you.”

 Though Lexa hated waking up, she was fast to get things in motion once she did. She gave Clarke the tissue box, searched through the small medicine cabinet she had spotted yesterday, and made sure that Clarke did take everything she gave her.

“Okay, I’m gonna go.”

“Oh… Yeah, huh, I’ll walk you down, I mean that’s the least I can do.”

Clarke tried to get a hold of herself, but she was not doing a good job at hiding her disappointment. It was stupid, of course Lexa was going. She probably had stuff to do, and though the illusion that they could just stay in bed had been nice, this was reality. Guilt settled over her, because of her Lexa had spent her night taking care of her instead of partying with her friend. She had burdened her long enough.

“No, stay in bed! I’ll be back in 30 minutes, try to take a nap. Can I borrow some clothes?”

Clarke was a bit stunned, and just nodded, her eyes fixed on Lexa searching through her drawers.

“Do you own any shirt without some sort of nerdy or sassy comment on it?”

“Why would I?”

“Nevermind.”

She finally found a simple vans tank top and some grey joggers that were a bit loose on her. Clarke was in awe when she opened back her eyes after Lexa had changed: the brunette was always perfectly dressed in a kind of casual chic style which suited her very well, but seeing her in her own clothes? Clarke thought she looked spectacular and just wanted her to come back in bed to snuggle some more. With a last goodbye and directions, Lexa left the room, and Clarke quickly fell asleep, the scent of Lexa still embedded in her pillows.

\---

 “Did you not lock your door? I mean I know it’s a rather safe campus, but seriously?...Clarke?”

Lexa had not expected walking in on an empty room. A piece of paper on the bed informed her that Clarke was taking a shower and would be back soon, which was why the door was left open. For the first time since she had met Clarke, Lexa felt a bit awkward. It was weird being in the girl’s room when she wasn’t. To try to get rid of her nerves, she emptied the bag and poured some water in the kettle on the desk.

The desk was a disaster, papers, music sheets and books were thrown everywhere, but Lexa knew better than to mess with someone’s organization, even if it looked chaotic. Instead, she started looking around, above the desk was a plethora of pictures, most of them of Clarke and friends and probably family. The faces were all unfamiliar apart from one or two with Raven and some other students she had seen around. Clarke definitely had a good eye for photography, the shots all looking like they had been carefully studied and yet really capturing the moment. It was also evident that Clarke was a rather active person: skating, surfing, cycling, even bungee jumping, it was all there. Always with that damn cocky smirk. Lexa was also impressed with the number of instruments Clarke was playing on the pictures, she knew she could potentially play any string instrument, but there she was behind a drum set, on another one playing the harmonica, and even a didgeridoo!

“Sorry if you had to wait awhile, all the shower stalls were taken so I had to wait.”

“It’s okay. Did the shower make you feel better?”

“Yeah, a bit. I think my fever’s down.”

Without hesitation, Lexa checked her forehead.

“Not quite there yet, champ.”

“What were you looking at?”

Clarke was trying to get the attention away from her, not used to that kind of treatment anymore.

“Just the pictures on the wall. The water’s hot, how do you feel about some ramen and crackers?”

“That sounds like heaven to be honest. Thank you.”

“Good, but first take some cough syrup.”

It was again a struggle, but Clarke finally abdicated. Halfway through the soup and a handful of crackers she felt full. She was tired again.

“What about we put on some Netflix and nap?”

“What happened to Netflix and chill?”

“Did someone found their cockiness again?”

“It’s probably just the fever talking.”

“Using the sick card, really?”

Clarke opened the tab on her laptop, and when she turned back toward Lexa, the latter was putting on her glasses. She had never seen her with her glasses, but the mix of her own clothes and Lexa’s round tortoiseshell glasses was perfect. That’s when she noticed that the bag in Lexa’s lap was not the same as the one from last night.

“You went back to your place?”

“Yeah, I needed to take a shower and to reassure my roommate that I hadn’t been abducted.”

“You kept my clothes.”                    

It was more an observation than an accusation. Clarke was thrilled, especially when Lexa blushed a bit.

“Yeah, well, if you’re going to put your germs on me, at least let it be on your own clothes rather than mine.”

That wasn’t the truth, they both knew it. Lexa just felt comfortable in them, they smelled like Clarke’s sheets, and somehow it was comforting. Without a word, she settled back in bed beside her, bringing the girl closer with a sigh, as she was playing shy again. Once again, Clarke relaxed upon contact, subtly wiggling a tiny bit closer so she could be all snuggled against her. She then turned back to her computer and the huge selection they had to choose from.

“What do you want to watch?”

“I don’t know, are there any new documentaries out?”

“Documentaries? Really?”

“What, champ? Let me guess, you’re more into cartoons and stuff like jackass?”

Clarke chose to stay silent, the guess had hit a bit too close to home. There was no way she was admitting to any of those! She heard Lexa laugh at her, but didn’t turn to face her, just elbowed her lightly in the side before clicking on the documentary section.

“Oh! Let’s watch Cosmos! I’ve been meaning to start watching it for years!”

“Seriously?”

“What’s wrong with it? It even has Neil Degrasse Tyson as the narrator!”

“Can I use my sick card again to get out of this?”

“Nope. You’ll be out in a less than 5 minutes anyway, so might as well put on something I like.”

“I’ve been dealing with insomnia long enough to be able to assure you I won’t be out in 5 minutes.”

“Wanna bet? If you go to sleep in the next five minutes, we watch my show, if not I’ll freaking watch jackass with you.”

“All of them?”

“Sure.”

“Even the TV shows?”

“If you want.”

“Fucking deal, then!”

Clarke confidently slapped her hand against Lexa’s.

“Alright, but we do things my way, then. Come here.”

Lexa moved her around until Clarke had her head nuzzled into her shoulder, putting the computer on her own lap so Clarke could cuddle her on her side. Clarke was smirking, she wasn’t going to complain, it wasn’t everyday that she had a beautiful girl to cuddle up to and she was really comfy. She was also secretly super excited at the prospect of seeing Lexa again, it wasn’t like they could watch all the Jackass’ productions in one day, so surely that meant that Lexa would have to come back, right?

“Wait! How can I be sure that you won’t lie about the time?”

“Not feeling that confident anymore, champ?”

“No! I just want to be sure things are fair and square! We need a neutral third party.”

“I don’t think this bed can fit anymore people.”

“We don’t need someone else.”

Lexa was puzzled while Clarke started clicking around on her laptop. After a bit, the webcam turned on, showing the two of them all cozy in bed on the screen.

“There! Our very own Video Assistant Referee!”

“…And I’m the nerd…”

“Time is ticking…”

Lexa rolled her eyes, but clicked to start the first episode. She then used the hand of the arm under Clarke’s head to start petting her hair and her other to gently rub her temple. Clarke had been really receptive to it before, and that technique had always worked on her little brother.

Sure enough, 3 minutes and a half into the episode, Lexa heard Clarke breathing shift to a deeper kind, and she couldn’t help a victorious smile toward the webcam. She settled more comfortably and focused on the show, her hand still gently trailing against the soft skin of her cheek. About halfway through the episode, she felt Clarke move around, finally seizing all movement after pulling her arm over Lexa’s stomach, anchoring her hand by fisting her shirt lightly and nuzzling deeper until her nose was right behind Lexa’s ear.

Such a kitten! Lexa couldn’t believe that the most intimidating person on campus could be such a cuddly little thing…Those past 24 hours made no sense, and somehow felt perfect. Since breaking up with Costia a year ago, Lexa was a lot more isolated than she liked to admit. It wasn’t because she was overly heart-broken, just that she hadn’t really made the time to befriend anyone around. Both their campuses were in the same town, so it made it easy for them to spent whatever spare time they had together, and the rest of it was dedicated to studying. When their story came to an end, Lexa just increased her studying time, after all she was here to succeed, not make friends. Nobody pays that much a year for college fees, room and board for that! After a while though, she had started making more of an effort to put herself out there, and tonight was supposed to be all about that. Some classmates who had been nagging her to loosen up a bit and go party with her for months had finally convinced her to go to the dropship…and there she was!

She didn’t know what this would all mean tomorrow, but for now she was fine with whatever this was. She couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at how much of a sore loser Clarke was probably going to be once she’d wake up and review the video. She got more comfortable, and kept passing her hand through her hair, enjoying the soft feel of the blond strands between her fingers, her eyes constantly drifting to the sleeping girl in her arms. She wasn’t exactly a very tactile person, but there was something very natural about doing it with Clarke, or just about being here with her right now. As the episode went on, the movement started to lull her a bit, the warm body against hers only making her sleepier. The second one started with both girls sleeping in each other’s arms, Lexa’s head nuzzled in Clarke’s hair.

The webcam kept its watchful eye on them, sole witness of the intimate moment. Unconscious limbs pulling and entwining, constantly seeking the reassuring presence and warmth of the other to settle down again. When the struggle finally stopped, each limb finding its rightful spot against the other, they both let out a long breath which sounded more like a sigh of relief. After being alone for so long, maybe, just maybe, they had finally found something worth holding on to. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter for you guys! Thank you so much for all the support, especially to all of those who took the time to comment, it really is a great source of motivation! Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

“Clarke!”

Clarke startled up from her spot at her desk. Turning around she saw that Monty wasn’t looking at her, but in front of him. She nearly startled again when she saw that Dr. Prescott was right in front of her.

“Ms Griffin, as much as we both know that you might not need this lesson on non-triadic voicings, it would be great if you could at least give the illusion that you’re following…”

“I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

Clarke looked apologetically up at him. She really didn’t mean to drift away in her thoughts like this, and as much as she had that badass persona on campus, she was always professional while in class. A fact her professors knew well enough, so Prescott just gave her a little nod before turning back to the rest of the class.

“Sorry, I tried to warn you.”

“It’s okay, thanks Monty.”

Clarke sent him a little smile, she couldn’t be mad at him anyway, she was too fond of him, though she’d never admit it out loud. She had met him at the Dropship, they had both auditioned for the DJ position. As Polis University was primarily known for its music program, the competition had been tough, and Clarke and Monty had had time to get to know each other in-between auditions (because, of course Raven had to turn it into some sort of X Factor competition!). They were both very talented but in very different ways: Monty was a total technology genius, music to him was all thresholds and balance; he could make a masterpiece just by looking at the display on his computer. Making music for Clarke was a more organic experience, it was just constantly coursing through her veins; she was inhabited by her music and could make any instrument sing for her, it was like an extension of her body and soul. That’s why Raven ended up choosing them both, seeing the potential of their contrasted approaches. And now all of them were pretty much family, and Clarke couldn’t be more grateful.

“Does it hurt?”

He was observing her hand and her face with concerned eyes, it made her face soften. Monty was such a nice guy, always looking out for her and getting worried whenever she would mess up. He was like a protective little brother to her.

“Don’t fret, mate. It’s all just scratches and bruises, nothing I haven’t seen before.”

She saw him purse his lips, she knew he hated when she would get into fights, but knew better than to try to go there with this conversation.

“…The pretty brunette pulling you out of said fight and driving you home was definitely something new, though.”

Monty couldn’t believe his eyes when he noticed the slight flush on Clarke’s cheeks.

“Oh my god! You totally slept with her!”

“What? Monty, shush! And no, I didn’t sleep with her! I mean, yes, but not…Ugh, we fell asleep on my bed.”

“Naked and sweaty?”

“Shhh!! No! It was late, and we just fell asleep…”

Monty stopped teasing. Clarke’s eyes looked a bit less cloudy today, a bit brighter than usual, and he wasn’t going to ruin that…obviously Raven would take care of it and he would still get all the gossip! Might as well let her enjoy her morning!

Clarke tried to focus back on class, but her thoughts kept drifting back to her weekend. It was impossible to explain it to others, since she didn’t understand it herself. They wouldn’t get it, she didn’t really either, but it…felt right, and she would cherish those moments as such. The last thing she wanted was for others to make fun of it, turn it all into a big crass joke. It was ineffable, and she was fine with this. Hopefully it wasn’t over just yet.

A small smile started blooming on her face at the memory of the hand that had reached for her forehead this morning in the crowded hall, and the sweet voice telling her “not there quite yet, champ. Don’t overdo it.” A bottle of Gatorade had been placed in her hand and an energy bar slipped into her back pocket, and by the time she had turned around she just had time to catch a little wink sent her way by the green eyes haunting her mind before they disappeared in the crowd again. That had to be a good sign, right? She thought as she was taking a sip of Gatorade.

“Never seen anyone so happy to drink Gatorade, Ms. Griffin.”

She nearly choked on her sip, as Dr. Prescott was in front of her desk once again. As she started looking around she realized that the class was empty. How in the hell had she missed that? She hastily started packing her bag again.

“Sorry, sir!”

“It’s pretty rare to see students so happily stay longer in class, Clarke. I’m not going to complain, but I have a feeling that this has nothing to do with how entrancing my class was…”

“I’m sorry for being so distracted today. I caught a cold this weekend, and my fever isn’t completely down.”

“…Right, because fevers put people in such a happy and dreamy mood.”

She rolled her eyes, she got along really well with Prescott and knew she could allow herself to do that in response to his mocking. Once she had everything packed away, she rose from her seat and started making her way out of the room.

“Clarke?”

She turned away to look at her professor who was looking at her with a little smile, holding up a piece of paper. She flushed recognizing the little slip of paper she’d been drawing on instead of taking notes.

“Working on a new tattoo? May I advise you to ask Ms. Woods about it…seems eerily similar?”

Of course it did, since it was Lexa’s, but by the mischievous look on Prescott’s face, he knew that too. She rolled her eyes again and started back on her way out of there.

“Bye, Dr. Prescott.”

She tried to ignore his chuckles as she made her way to her next class. She sighed a bit, she was probably going to be late on her next class, but as much as she was dedicated, she couldn’t make herself hurry to her business class. It was a prerequisite for her songwriting major, but definitely not one she enjoyed. Her eyes fell back on the piece of paper in her hand. The intricate design of Lexa’s upper arm tattoo was rendered there nearly perfectly, and its sight made her smile again. She had woken up by the end of the second episode of Cosmos, and her attention had soon derived from the screen of her computer to the brunette’s upper arm tattoo. She had noticed it before, but it was the first time she was able to see it up-close. She had traced it over and over, making sure not to wake up Lexa, because well, it would be weird and clearly Lexa wasn’t the kind of person you’d want to wake up for no reason!

“What do you got there, Champ?”

There she was, being startles once again, and by no other than the person occupying her thoughts.

“Hey! Hi...Uhm…Nothing, just…notes. Aren’t you late for class?”

“I’m not, but you surely are! I’m free until 2. How do you feel?”

“Right, Pickscrew class. I’m feeling better…thanks for the Gatorade and the bar.”

“No problem. I’ll let you go, I’m on my way to the library to work on Greenfield’s assignment for tomorrow.”

“Shit, I still got to finish that!”

“Well, I’ll be there if you need some help with that.”

“Oh! Uhm…thanks! Yeah, I’ll…I’ll do that!”

The brunette sent her another wink before going back on her way, smirk in place. Once she turned around the corner, Clarke groaned out loud.

“Smooth, Griffin! Fucking bogan!”

A couple students turned to look at her, but quickly scattered upon receiving her signature glare of death. Yeah, that was more like it! Squaring back her shoulders, she made her way to class, knowing it was going to be a long hour.

\---

She’d been right. It had been a really long hour on the technicalities of copyright laws. Once it was finally done, she rushed to the small cafeteria of the building, too hungry to make her way to the big dining hall. Just as she had just finished sitting down and unwrapping her sandwich, an all too familiar voice came from her right side.

“Sup’ strayer? Tell me everything!”

She startled for at least the fourth time today (which was completely unacceptable, by the way) when she realized that Raven had somehow managed to sit by her side without her even noticing.

“Bloody hell, Raven!”

“Ooooh, was it that good?”

“I swear I’m gonna kill you.”

“Naah, who would you hang out with, then? Oh! Maybe Alexandria Woods? Is that a tradition in Australia? Killing old friends once you get new ones?”

“We just like to get rid of the annoying ones by throwing them to the sharks.”

“I guess that’s one way to do it…So? You, Alexandria?”

“Nothing happened, guys!”

“So what? She drove you back, you exchanged pleasantries and she went back on her way?”

Clarke let out a long sigh before putting down her uneaten sandwich. She was tempted to just say yes so Monty and her would leave her alone…but they were pretty much the only people she could talk to, and she was still so confused…

“Hmm…not exactly…”

“OH MY GOD! YOU BANGED-”

 Clarke was able to put her hand on Raven’s mouth before she could finish her sentence. Everyone in the cafeteria was now looking at them, but another glare of death and everybody was focusing back on their business. Just as she was going to give the same treatment to Raven, she started obnoxiously licking her hand.

“Urgh, you’re disgusting!”

“Didn’t know you were into kinky shit, Clarke. Alexandria is into the all “being gagged” thing?”

“For fuck sake, shut up! We did not have sex, alright? She…helped me back in my room, stayed with me while I got prepared for bed, and we just fell asleep, alright?”

Raven was staring at her with doubtful eyes, she tried to sustain the look, but soon enough she couldn’t help but look down at her wristwatch.

“Ah! I knew it! You’re hiding something. You know you can’t lie to me, Clarke, what really happened?”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You looked at your watch, you always look at it when you lie, so give to me straight…well gay, I guess.”

Clarke looked back down at her watch. It was actually her dad’s, she had never taken it off since her dad had given it to her. She had never noticed that she was looking at it when she lied, but thinking back on it, it was definitely one of her clues when she was nervous…

“Earth to Clarke, do you copy?”

The blonde finally focused back in her friend. She rolled her eyes at how excited Raven looked, before letting out a long sigh and starting to tell her everything. She told her about Lexa insisting on staying in the bathroom with her in case she slipped, drying her hair when she was too tired to do it herself, falling asleep right there against her, waking up with a cold, about Lexa being a grump when she wakes up and bossing her around, but also about how she had left and come back with medicine and food, and stayed with her for a nap. She even mentioned their bet, and finished by explaining that she had woken up from her nap to little note explaining that the brunette had had to leave to meet up with her group for one of her workshop assignment.

She didn’t tell everything though, she didn’t mention how Lexa would play with her hair, or how she helped her into her pajama with soft hands. She skipped all the parts about her acting like a virgin idiot, her disappointment each time she thought she was going to leave, and how lonely it felt to wake up from that night without Lexa’s arms around her…No, she wouldn’t tell that to Raven, nor anyone. This was just for her. Just like she wouldn’t admit that she hadn’t been able to fall asleep yesterday night because her bed felt too big and empty, and that the only reason she had fallen asleep was because she had cuddled the pillow Lexa had slept on and watched the video of their bet…

“Oh my god, I can already here angels sing and bells ringing in the distance…”

“Stop it, Raven.”

“If you could see your face right now, Clarke! You’re eyes are freaking shining! You’re whipped already!”

“It…It was just one night. She was being nice because I was a mess.”

“Well, first of all, it was more like a day and a night, and I’ve helped stranger out of my bar, but I can tell you that I never dried their hair or cuddled them to sleep, and even less brought them back soup the next day!”

“That’s probably because you’re an asshole.”

Raven took pity on her clearly uneasy friend. She had never seen Clarke like this. She was always the kind to not give a shit about most things. She was untouchable, a freaking tank. This version of Clarke in front of her, though, was completely different. There was a vulnerability in her eyes that she had rarely seen, and on the few occasions it had more to do with the amount of alcohol in her blood on a bad day. This was different: Clarke looked happy, and Raven might have been an asshole, but she wasn’t gonna mess with that.

“…I’m glad I didn’t just throw you in a taxi.”

Clarke looked up hesitantly, but when she saw the friendly smile on Raven’s face, she relaxed and sent her one back.

“Yeah…Me too.”

“Are you gonna see her again?”

“I saw her this morning, twice. She’s…She said she’d be in the library until 2.”

“Then what the hell are you doing here, dummy! Grab your stuff, come on!”

“I haven’t even eaten yet!”

“You’ll eat there! And grab something for her!”

Raven was literally pushing her out of the booth, and Clarke was grateful that her sense of balance was back, or she would have probably landed on her butt.

“Alright, alright, stop pushing me for fuck sake!”

“Have a good “lunch” Clarke.”

“Fuck you!”

As reluctant as she played it out, she still did as Raven told her, grabbing a grilled cheese sandwich, a little cup of tomato soup and a raspberry yogurt for Lexa. All things she knew she liked as they had talked about it on the first night.

She shivered as she entered the library. To counteract the Californian heat, the librarians liked to push the AC to the max, which was great the thirty first minutes, but after a while of just sitting on a chair it felt cold as hell! She went up to the last floor where the music section was, and then wandered around looking for a pretty brunette with haunting green eyes.

“Clarke?”

“Oh! Hey! Hi, Lexa!”

The brunette raised a surprised eyebrow at the nickname. It was mostly family that gave her nicknames, since she didn’t have that much friends to begin with.

“Oh sorry, hmm, Alexandria, I don’t know what-”

“No, it’s fine, I…I like “Lexa”.”

“Cool…Oh! Right! I thought you might be hungry so I brought you some grilled cheese and tomato soup, and a raspberry yogurt.”

Lexa’s stomach started grumbling the second she could smell food. Her ears turned pink, and Clarke let out a little chuckle, which Lexa answered too by slapping her arm.

“Hey! I brought you food! Don’t hurt me! And may I remind you that I’m sick and hurt already?”

Lexa pulled her down beside her on the sofa with an eye roll, and grabbed a plaid out of her bag to put it over their legs. They quietly started eating their lunch, keeping an eye on the stairs to make sure the librarians wouldn’t come by. Eating in the library wasn’t exactly authorized, though everyone did it.

“…So do you just travel everywhere with a plaid?”

“I couldn’t find a towel.”

“Now, you know that the rules are ‘Don’t Panic’ and ‘Carry a Towel’.”

“Well, it is still pretty efficient, maybe not to hide away from bugblatters, but overall…”

They stopped their banter with a start when they heard the sound of a book trolley approaching. They looked at each other and quickly hid their meal under the plaid. The librarian passed, throwing a quick look at them before continuing to the other side of the room. They both let out a sigh of relief before Clarke had a fit of laughter.

“Turns out, it’s also efficient on bugblatters!”

Lexa burst out laughing too. Tears of laughter were rolling down their cheeks. The two idiots calmed down once they heard the dreaded “shhh!” of one of the librarians. Neither could remember the last time they had laughed that much.

“I didn’t peg you for a fan to _The Hitchhikers Guide To The Universe_ , champ.”

Clarke looked at her with a smirk before lifting the side of her jeans to show the tattoo reading “Oh no, not again.” along a long scar on her ankle.

“I read them all when I broke my ankle for the first time. Then two years later I broke it again and had to have surgery to screws in a metal plate. I read them all again, and since I was 18, I got my first tattoo once the scar was healed enough.”

Lexa shook her head while looking at her fondly.

“How did you break it twice?”

“Skating, both times.”

“And you still skate?”

“Falling down is part of life. Getting back up is living.”

“Whose quote is that?”

“…I have no idea!”

They started chuckling again. When they stopped laughing, Lexa kept looking at her with a soft smile.

“What?”

“Nothing, I’m just getting used to seeing you laugh. You’re more well-known for your glares and scowls around here…”

“Not my fault if people around here are mostly idiots.”

“I have to agree partly. But they can’t all be that bad. Maybe you didn’t give them enough of a chance.”

“I’d say it’s the other way around. One week here and there was already more rumors about me than I could count, and people trying to befriend me were only doing so to know if those were real or not. And I mean, I didn’t come all the way here to make friends, anyway.”

There was a bit of silence, the soft look on Lexa became just a bit sadder.

“…But it gets lonely at times, right? I mean, I know what you mean, and I tried that too, but…”

“Yeah…”

The look they then exchanged held more meaning than all their previous ones. Not able to sustain Clarke’s look, Lexa’s eyes drifted back to her computer screen.

“How about we get that done?”

“Yeah!”

They fell back in silence again, eating and studying at the same time. About an hour later, Clarke was done. As much as she hated that type of work, it was still pretty easy for her, she just didn’t enjoy doing it. Lexa was still working on her own, so she decided to work a bit on her set for Friday night, rearranging a few stuff on her playlist and trying out a few combinations. By the time she was done with that, Lexa was still working…She decided to be patient, and tried a few things: playing on her phone, picking up a random book around them to read, cleaning up her bag…

Just as she was preparing the most perfect paper plane with some receipt left in her bag, she felt a pair of eyes stare at her. When she turned around Lexa was looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

“What?”

“Clarke, if you’re bored you can go. I still need at least half an hour to be done.”

“No! It’s fine, I’m not bored.”

“Champ…this is your 7th paper plane.”

“What if I like making paper plane? And this one is the one, it’s going to be perfect.”

“You went as far as rearranging your pencil case. Twice. It’s fine, I can finish on my own.”

Lexa hated the feeling that she might be holding back Clarke. She knew she was a bit long to finish assignments, and thinking that Clarke was maybe just trying to be polite by staying with her was making her uncomfortable.

“I’m good, Lexa.”

“Come on, this is ridiculous! Don’t force yourself to stay, there’s plenty of stuff to do around campus without having to be here, getting bored waiting for me.”

“And what if I like being here, with you?”

Clarke flushed a bit when she realized how she had worded it, but didn’t back down.

“I’m not leaving, so get back to your work. Or better yet, check this out!”

Clarke then flung her paper plane in the direction of the librarian who had been keeping an eye on them for the past 2 hours. The paper plane made its way and landed perfectly in her bushy hair. She didn’t as much as blinked, and Clarke fist bumped the air.

“You’re a child.”

“Oh come on! That was funny!”

“She’s an old lady.”

“Naah, that’s her cover. I’m betting she’s a Vogon.”

Lexa tried to keep a stern face, but Clarke’s smile was too infectious, and her perfect blue eyes were shining with too much mischief as she was leaning in conspiratorially against her. Soon enough, she had to look away to hide the smile blooming on her face. Clarke looked so proud of herself that she had to slap her arm again in vengeance.

“Stop hitting me, woman!”

“Let me focus on my work!”

“I am! Not my fault if your eyes can’t help but drift back to me.”

She then made her eyebrows go up and down in a playful manner. Lexa just pushed her face away and Clark let herself fall on the couch dramatically.

Half an hour later, Clarke was still lying down on the couch, her legs now on Lexa’s lap with her computer on it as she kept typing away. Clarke kept shifting her focus from her notebook and pencil to Lexa.

“Clarke, you’re distracting me.”

“I’m not doing anything! Must be a little _je ne sais quoi_ about me.”

“You keep staring at me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

Clarke put all her focus back on her piece of paper. Honestly, by now, she didn’t really have to look at Lexa anymore to continue, that was all the point of having photographic memory, but you were never too sure, right? Next thing she knew, her notebook was snatched from her hands.

“Hey!”

“Wow…I didn’t know you could draw…”

Clarke said nothing, too embarrassed at being caught, and at a loss for words to explain the situation. Instead, she kept her eyes on Lexa, watching the way her finger was tentatively tracing her own face on paper. Her eyes were fixed on the drawing, her head slightly cocked to the side, her pair of emeralds pouring over her little doodle. Clarke had done some art competitions back in Australia, but she had never been more stressed about someone seeing her drawings.

“Clarke, it’s really good! Did you do it just now?”

“Uhm...Yeah, I’m a bit rusty though.”

It was true. Before this morning she hadn’t drawn in two years. She hadn’t been brave like for skating, when the paintbrush had fallen to the ground, she hadn’t found the strength to grab it back up. And now, Cigarette girl had walked into her life and pictures after pictures were flowing through her, making her fingers twitch in a way they hadn’t in a very long time.

“Then you should keep it up, I’d love to see what you can do.”

The blonde sent her a little sad smile and a nod as Lexa handed her back her notebook. She looked back at it herself, it was a simple portrait of Lexa working. It was nearly all there: the little crinkle on her forehead as she was concentrating, her pursed lips as she was typing and her eyes focused. Still, it didn’t match perfectly enough the image Clarke had in mind. It was all a question of proportions and perspectives, but Clarke was always her harshest judge.

“It’s really not that good, I messed it up.”

She ripped out the page in annoyance. If Clarke was one thing, it was a perfectionist, no matter what she we was doing, as long as she cared, it had to be perfect. Before she could ball up the page, Lexa managed to snatch it from her hands.

“Lexa! It’s not a good one, I’ll do another! This one is shit.”

“Well, it’s my face on it, and I like it.”

“It’s all wrong!”

“Well, I’ll keep it, and if you do better I’ll gladly accept it, too. Now shush, I just need to re-read it and I’ll be done.”

Clarke sighed like a petulant child, still annoyed at her drawing and Lexa deciding to keep it. She sat back down normally on the couch.

“Stop being a baby.”

Lexa managed to pull her down so that her head would fall on her lap, her computer now sitting on the arm of their little sofa.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m stopping you from getting fussy.”

“I’m not an actual child, you know.”

“Of course you’re not.”

Clarke hated the patronizing tone she was using, the brunette didn’t even look her, but her anger was soon extinguished by the feel of Lexa’s hands passing through her hair. She felt her whole body relax. She decided to ignore the smirk on Lexa’s face by turning on her side so that her face was against the girl’s stomach. The new position enabled Lexa to start scratching at the back of Clarke’s head, exactly where she knew the girl liked it best. It felt like heaven!

Time passed and when Lexa was finally done, she looked down at Clarke and noticed the time on the blonde’s watch. They had five minutes to get to class!

“Clarke! Wake up! We’re about to be late!”

“Five more minutes…”

“No! Up! We’re going to have to run!”

Lexa didn’t give the poor sleepy girl a chance, and just pushed her up by the shoulders.

“Can’t we just skip?”

“You really want to skip Ms. Pickscrew’s class? I’ll gladly have you go to her office to explain why we both weren’t there.”

Clarke let out a long groan. Pickscrew was a real dragon, that lady was so old she had probably helped build the place! She was very old-fashioned, so if you weren’t dead or severely injured, you had no excuse to not show up to her class (and honestly, Clarke always had a feeling that those who tried might have ended up one of the above). She quickly got to her feet, packing up, and starting to hurry toward the stairs.

“No! This way!”

Lexa grabbed her hand, and started running in the other direction. It was an emergency stair that led to the back of the building, so closer to where they needed to go. They ran the whole way, and Clarke was a bit impressed by Lexa’s stamina. Sure, she had felt the slight contour of her abs when lying on her lap, but she hadn’t expected her to be able to keep up with her.

When they finally made it, they burst through the door, both heaving and slightly sweaty.

“Oh my god! We made it!”

Lexa was so relieved, she let her forehead fall on Clarke’s shoulder for a bit as she was trying to get her breathing under control. She had forgotten how great it felt to run. She had done cross country back in high school. Back then she used to run a few miles every morning, but then college had started, and she had just let go of the habit. She still did yoga though. It was easier, she could just do it in her dorm and it was a great way to relax. Still, there was something exhilarating about running, and it made her crave for more.

“Ms. Griffin, Ms Woods, if you wouldn’t mind going to your seat so that we can start this lesson…”

It snapped them back to reality, and with flushing cheeks they hurried to their seats. Clarke was always sitting alone in the back during this class, “Critical Listening Lab”, though sounding interesting on paper, wasn’t the most exciting class out there, a thing Ms. Pickscrew made sure of. But today, she was sitting by Lexa, and being able to study her profile for a good portion of the class sure made it more enjoyable. Lexa’s focused expression suddenly shifted to an annoyed one.

“Oh come on, you can’t blame me for staring, your face is the only interesting thing in this room!”

“What?”

Clarke started blushing at the surprise on Lexa’s face.

“Well…you? Uhm, what’s wrong?”

“I just realized I hadn’t printed my essay back at the library.”

“Oh! Well, I have a printer in my room if you want.”

Lexa felt conflicted, she was never one to accept those kind of offers. Realistically she just had to go back to the library to print it herself, she didn’t need to use Clarke’s ink and paper, but then, it meant going back to Clarke’s dorm for a bit, and without being able to understand why, the prospect of it was making her particularly happy.

“I don’t want to bother-”

“You wouldn’t! I mean, it’s totally fine! I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to.”

“…So are you inviting me back to your place just that you can stare at me a bit longer, Champ?”

“Ugh…”

Lexa had to try to not burst out laughing when Clarke dramatically let her face fall in her arms.

“You set yourself up for this one.”

“Well, sorry for studying your features so that my next drawing doesn’t look like shit.”

“Whatever you say, Champ. And it didn’t look like shit, I like it.”

“You’re supposed to wear glasses, Lexa. I don’t think you can be very critical about my drawings if you can’t see them.”

“Really? Picking on people wearing glasses? For your information I’m wearing contacts, I just put my glasses on last times because I slept with them and my eyes were irritated.”

“You irritate me.”

“You’re a child.”

Clarke sulked for a bit, pout in place and everything. Lexa couldn’t help but smile while looking at her. She had never met someone so annoying, and yet so endearing, it was maddening.

“Stop staring at me.”

“See? It’s annoying.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Oh my god!”

“When you two will be done flirting, please let us know so we can continue with this lesson…”

That made both girls froze. Pickscrew was furiously staring at them, her right foot tapping the ground. They meekly apologized, and focused back on their notes. Lexa knocked her right foot against Clarke’s left.

“Stop getting me in trouble.”

Clarke looked at her with disbelief and knocked her foot too.

“ _You’re_ getting me in trouble!”

“You’re trouble, Clarke.”

“Well, you’re _troubled_ , Lexa.”

They tried to both keep a stern face, but they soon started giggling quietly. It was all ridiculous, the banter just never stopped, but they were not getting tired of it. They then actually focused for the rest of the lesson. They both needed this class credits for their minor, and the finals were actually not that hard if you paid attention in class. One they were dismissed, they quickly made their way out together.

“So do you want to come right now?”

“Wow, Strayer! That’s pretty straight-forward!”

They both turned around to face Raven who was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

“What the hell are you doing here, Raven?”

“Just…exploring the campus! Hey there, boss! Beautiful Monday to come right now, isn’t it?”

“Cut off the crap, Rae. Come on Lexa, I’ll print it for you real quick.”

“Print it for you? It that how the kids call it those days?”

“Goodbye Raven.”

Raven was such a prick! Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and started leading her through the crowd of people in the hallway. Lexa couldn’t help a little smile at Clarke’s embarrassment. She also couldn’t help feeling a bit proud that Clarke had shut up Raven like this, just ignoring her and walking away with her head held high instead of letting herself get worked up. It made heat spread through her chest, and she had to bite her lip to stop the stupid grin growing on her face.

“I left my longboard in Dr. Prescott’s office, I just need to grab it and we can go.”

Clarke kept holding Lexa’s hand as they made their way through the crowd to the office on the first floor.

“Hey Clarke, Pickscrew made you finish late again?”

“No, just met some people on my way here, the drawbacks of being famous, you know.”

They both exchange a playful smile. She owed this professor a lot, and not just for keeping her longboard in his office during the day. They had both confided in each other when she first arrived here and things were rough, by now Clarke liked to think that they were friends.

“Well, look at that! Hello Ms. Woods, funny to see you here.”

He looked back at Clarke, then to their clasped hands, and back at her again, but Clarke didn’t back down, though for a second she felt like letting go.

“It’s nice to see you again, Dr. Prescott.”

“Always a pleasure, so what brought you here, tonight?”

“We’re just here to get my longboard, we won’t bother you for long.”

Prescott only smiled wider at Clarke’s insistent look. He wasn’t passing on that, protégé or not.

“Oh really, where are you guys headed? Is there some sort of music major meetup tonight?”

“No, just going back to the dorms.”

“Interesting, did you move to a new dorm, Ms. Woods?”

“How do you even know where she lives?”

“Well, for your information Clarke, she used to stay in the room I stayed in back in the days. They switched girls and boys dorms a few years ago.”

They were still battling with their eyes, and Lexa was looking at the both of them confused about what was happening.

“Um, no, I’m still in room 207, sir.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I’m getting old, must have gotten confuse, I thought the two of you were heading back together.”

“Well, we are.”

Clarke turned away from Prescott’s delighted face to look pleadingly at Lexa (she had intended to glare…but that… hadn’t worked out).

“Oh! Well that’s great, are the two best students of our music program working on some special project?”

“Um…No, Clarke just offered to print something for me.”

“Oh yeah, Clarke’s really into printing and all that, you know, ink-”

“And on that note, goodbye Dr. Prescott.”

“Have a good evening, ladies. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Clarke.”

Clarke muttered a low “Don’t hold your breath.” Intended for Prescott’s ears only, but Lexa heard, and looked at her inquisitively. Clarke just smiled innocently, and grabbed back her hand once she had her longboard in hand.

“Well, let’s go!”

They made their way outside, and Lexa finally turned to the blonde.

“What was that about?”

“What “that”?”

“In Prescott’s office, Clarke.”

“Oh! Nothing, we just like to annoy each other. Don’t worry about it. So! Ever been on a longboard before?”

That worked to distract Lexa who was now looking in fear at the longboard on the ground. Clarke hadn’t intended on riding it back, but she hadn’t been able to think of another direction.

“No, and I don’t count on starting today.”

“Well, you’re in for a surprise!”

“Clarke, no.”

“Clarke, yes!”

With a mischievous smile, Clarke grabbed Lexa around the waist, making her screech.

“Now, screeching won’t help things along. Put your feet on the board like this. I’m holding you, so don’t worry.”

“How about I just walk?”

“It’ll go way faster.”

“Then I’ll run?”

“Nope. Put your feet correctly. There we go! Don’t be too stiff, like don’t lock your knees, it will help with balance. Alright, last thing, you follow my lead, and if I tell you to jump out, just do it.”

“What?”

“Let’s go!”

Clarke kept her hand on Lexa’s waist to give some momentum to the board before jumping on. She could feel that Lexa was panicking a bit and moving around a bit, so she put herself flush against her back.

“It’s like dancing, I lead, so just follow my moves. You have nothing to worry about, it’s a straight line down to my dorm. I promise I know what I’m doing.”

“Is charming girls with your skating skill one of your tricks, champ?”

Lexa’s voice was still a bit shaky from fear, but at least she had her wit back.

“I don’t know, do you think I should add it to the list?”

“Well, if making them literally fall for you is what you have in mind, maybe.”

“Lexa, I’ve been riding this thing my whole life. Trust me, it’s way easier to ride with another person than to lug my surfing board on it, and I also did that my whole life.”

Lexa felt like laughing at that, but she was so tensed that it came out more like a choked one.

“What about fighting kangaroos while on this deathtrap, did that too?”

“Yup, I can even throw a boomerang and catch it back later on on that thing.”

Lexa laughed a bit easier this time. It really wasn’t that bad. Well the fact that she was leaning against Clarke was helping, the no-handlebar situation was still scary as hell.

“Come on, take a big breath and shut your eyes.”

“What? Are you crazy?”

“Come on! Live a little! And it’s not as if you were doing anything. I lead, remember? Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“Well, if nothing is going to happen, I don’t see the point of doing it.”

“Alexandria I-don’t-know-your-middle-name Woods, it’s time to woman up!”

“We’re standing on a piece of wood held by 4 little wheels!”

“You’re standing on one of the best longboard on the market, designed perfectly to do its job and guided by the best rider around here. Just let go.”

“But why?”

“You’ll get it. Come on, do you trust me?”

Lexa anxiously kept looking at the road, before stiffening a bit as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“There you go, do you feel it now? We’re flying.”

Lexa felt a shiver go down her spine as Clarke whispered the words by her ear. The sensations were incredible. She could feel the stability of the board under her feet, the wind rushing against them and cooling her skin, the sound of all the life around them coming in and out of focus as they sped down the road and Clarke’s body against hers, still holding her close, anchoring her in the moment…Tentatively, she brought back her arms that she had used to balance herself close to her, letting them come and cover Clarke’s hands on her waist. It was both terrifying and exhilarating. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so alive and free. Her frown soon transformed into a happy smile. She was flying.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, folks! Time for a new chapter!  
> Not my favorite one, not gonna lie, I feel like it’s a bit all over the place, I don’t know, but please let me know what you thought in the comments!!

As much as the ride had ended up not being that bad, Lexa was still glad to step off the longboard once they had made it to Clarke’s dorm. She quickly reviewed her essay one last time before letting Clarke print it for her. In the meantime, she looked around the room once again, her eyes ended up falling on the second set of drawers next to the other. How she didn’t notice that Clarke had two before, she didn’t know, but she was jealous.

“Wait! You guys get two sets of drawers?”

“Oh! No, it’s actually the one from next door. The girl brought her own, but she couldn’t fit it in her room because of this one, so she offered to give it to me. It’s pretty great, that way I don’t have to store things in my walk-in closet.”

“Why on earth would you not want to store things in your closet? That’s like the only good thing about those rooms, the closets are huge!”

Clarke just smiled at her and made her way to the closet, opening it to reveal proudly her own mini recording studio.

“Turns out, it has the best acoustic of the room. I added some foam panels, it takes up some space, but at least I’m not bothering anyone. It also helps that my neighbor on this side is pretty much never there.”

Lexa was amazed, Clarke had really fitted in a little recording booth, with a really great recorder hooked to her macbook, a Blue condenser mic, an Impulse midi keyboard, a bass, an acoustic guitar and an electric one with a pedal. Clearly the place had been carefully studied so it could fit as much of Clarke’s stuff as possible. Still, some other instruments were stored in her room, because there was only so much she could do with a closet!

“Wow!”

“Yeah…It’s a bit my proud and joy, I put a lot into this installation, but I’m really happy with the result.”

“I envy you, getting private booths at the department is a nightmare, and they really need to update the equipment more often.”

“I know! I nearly failed a workshop freshman year because there was no free spot for me to record my project. I ended up having to rent a recording studio in the city for a day to be able to hand something in. After that day, I decided that I couldn’t rely on the department for my music, so I built my own little studio.”

“And you didn’t play around, this is all top of the line products!”

“Yeah, well, I had some economies…”

Lexa noticed Clarke looking down at her watch, and thought it was time for her to go.

“Well, thanks for printing this, and showing me your secret batcave.”

“It’s no trouble. And…if you ever need somewhere to record something…well you know where to find me.”

“Thanks, Clarke. Really. Alright, well I won’t bother you any longer, I’ll let you be.”

“Oh sorry, yeah, you probably have stuff to do.”

“Not really…I mean, I have some homework that I need to start working on, but nothing urgent or specific…”

What was she doing! Of course she had homework to start working on! If there was one thing Lexa hated, it was being off-schedule on her work. She liked to start working on big projects and papers at the beginning of the semester, when she had time for it, instead of having to pull 3 all-nighters to be done in time at the end…but maybe, for once…

“Yeah…I know what you mean. The first project for my demo making workshop is a group work, and I was paired with idiots.”

“We can’t all be music prodigies, champ.”

“It’s not about that, they just settle! They give it the minimum effort and then are happy to settle for a C. I’m not ruining my GPA for them, and if that means that, once again, and as usual, I have to do all the ground work, then I will. I just don’t get those kids.”

“I think it’s just that by now, anyone paired with you knows better than to try to interfere.”

Lexa had a little amused smile on her face. Clarke was known for her perfectionism and temper, nobody wanted to mess with her creative process.

“I can work in groups!”

“You made Lena McKay cry last year.”

“Because she kept wanting to add those stupid add-libs that were completely unnecessary and were messing with the vibe!”

Lexa just raised one eyebrow with a smirk.

“I’m not a tyrant! And we did add in those stupid add-libs.”

“Because Dr. Lin forced you to.”

“…details…and I had to mix it all back in properly so it would fit. Even she admitted that, in comparison, the first version sounded like shit.”

Lexa had to snort at Clarke’s angry pout.

“She just cried because she had the hugest girl crush on you.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Oh, I know that! She was my roommate’s best friend, she came by our room right after and poured her heart out, saying how she had done it because you had been using a lot of them in your mix back then. She wanted to impress you.”

“Seriously?”

Clarke sat back on her desk chair and rolled her eyes while sighing. Lexa just shook her head at her.

“Oh come on! Don’t tell me you only ever had great experiences with group work!”

“…No. I’ll admit that.”

“Ah! See?”

“But never to the point of being a tyrant.”

“I’m not!”

“Clarke…”

“I…I just like…to do good stuff! I cannot not care about it like the others seem to do. I can’t go ‘oh! This composition is only worth 15% of my final grade” and just slack it off.’ It’s art, it has to have meaning or else, it’s just…noise! And, and, I just don’t see the point! Music’s what…it grounds me! It’s the one thing that never left me, no matter what. It’s just always there with me, and working with people that are not moved that way by what they’re doing is just…and now I just sound like some sort of stuck-up bitch…”

Lexa just admired the blonde for a bit. There was something fascinating watching her talk so passionately. She never thought she’d get along with the infamous Clarke Griffin. From what she had heard, the girl was mostly insufferable, but the more time she spent with her, the more it all made sense. The Clarke she saw in class had definitely nothing to do with the one whining about watching Cosmos with her or the flustered girl in the hallway or the youthful one making her get on a longboard…Clarke Griffin was a mystery, and Lexa couldn’t help but want to know more about her.

“You don’t.”

“What?”

“You don’t sound like a stuck-up bitch. You’re bordering on the tortured artist side for sure, but definitely not a stuck-up bitch.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at her with a little smile. She had never really had the occasion to explain that sort of things to anyone, except maybe Prescott. Honestly, she didn’t care. She wasn’t there to make friends or be liked, people’s remarks just slid over her most days, but she didn’t want that with Lexa. For some reason, getting lost in the green eyes in front of her made her want to, for once, reach out and maybe open up a bit.

“What about you?”

“Am I a stuck-up bitch?”

“No, smartass. How do you feel about music? Like, why are you here? Is music what you always wanted to do?”

Lexa looked at the window for a bit before sitting down on the bed and grabbing the pillow she had slept on during the weekend.

“Hm, no. I started dancing when I was a kid. I was really good. I entered a prestigious academy and everything, thought that it would be my life…And then one day I made a bad jump. I landed badly and I dislocated my kneecap. I did all I could to make it heal right, but dislocated joints are tricky… I popped it three more times, and we all agreed that it would be better for me to get operated. I got a metal plate of my own now, and the little scar to go with it, too…I can’t dance anymore, at least not at a professional level. I was devastated. Dance had been my whole life since I was 5.”

“I can’t even imagine…How old were you?”

Clarke stood up and slowly came to sit beside Lexa on the bed, her eyes staying on her to check if the girl didn’t mind. Lexa moved a bit to the side to give her more space, before starting to talk again.

“14 the first time and 15 when I got surgery…I still loved it though, and even if I couldn’t dance anymore and I had switched school, my instructor would let me come in to watch whenever I wanted. She taught me how to play the piano in-between classes, and I realized it helped. What I loved about dancing was the communion with music, to sort of just let it flow through me and move me. I fell in love with music just like I had fallen in love with dancing, and a few months later I was starting to learn the piano, violin, contrabass and saxophone. I never looked back, and here I am today.”

Clarke was a bit astonished. It made sense though, it explained the grace with which Lexa always held herself and moved.

“What about you, champ? Was it always music for you?”

“Yeah, I learned guitar on my father’s lap. As far as I can remember I always had an instrument in hand. He bought me my first ukulele when I was 4, and that’s probably still my favorite gift ever.”

Her eyes drifted to the ukulele with little sunflowers painted on it propped against the wall by her bed. It looked old and well-loved and cared for.

“I was a curious child, so any instrument I could put my hands on, I wanted to learn how to play it…I don’t know, it just never left me, I went from playing whatever was on the radio, to writing my own music, to recording and mixing.”

“What about art?”

“That…I guess it was my second love. But while music was something I wanted to share, art was more…personal? My parents didn’t even know I could draw something better than a stick figure until I was like 12 when they found my drawing journal.”

“Do you miss it?”

By now they had both reclined back on the bed, their legs dangling and their sides touching while they were both looking at the ceiling. Clarke stayed silent a bit, considering whether to open up a bit more or not.

“…Sometimes…but I just couldn’t do it anymore…”

She had to close her eyes at the influx of images flashing behind her eyes.

“…Bad…things happened, and I was a mess. I just couldn’t do it anymore, there was too much going on in my brain, and that sort of blocked me. It just wasn’t there anymore…it was just…gone.”

She started fiddling with her watch, not too sure how to go on from there. Her heart was beating fast in her chest, she had never really talked about any of this with anyone, and she just wanted this conversation to be over. She then felt a hand come comb through her hair, and she let her eyes close.

“Well, I’m glad it’s coming back…I…Singing is like that for me. It’s personal.”

“You sing?”

“Yeah, but never for an audience. I just can’t, it terrifies me.”

Clarke’s heart was finally settling down, and with her eyes closed she turned her head toward Lexa, sighing as she felt her fingers instinctively going to scratch the back of her neck.

“You’re a kitten, you know that?”

“I’m not!”

“Yes you are, you’re all hissing and puffing around people you don’t know, but you’re just funny and cuddly with those you like.”

“Lexa, I’m not a kitten!”

“You keep telling yourself that, champ… I’m sure you love tummy rubs.”

“Lexa!”

“I’m totally right.”

Clarke turned away in annoyance. She wasn’t a freaking kitten! Lexa was still laughing behind her, so she kicked one of her feet in aggravation.

“If I were you I’d stop right now, you wouldn’t win.”

Clarke squared her jaw, she never backed down from a challenge. She turned around all at once, trying to pin Lexa to the bed, but Lexa just used her momentum to turn the situation around, and before she knew it, Clarke was pinned to the bed, her arms along her side with Lexa’s knees pressing on the and her torso pushed against the bad by her hands. Lexa sat on her lap victoriously.

“See?”

“What the hell was that?”

“I told you you wouldn’t win. My dad is a krav maga instructor, don’t think I can’t defend myself, champ.”

Clarke tried to break free of her hold, but had no upper body strength with the way she was held down, she tried to buck up her hips, but Lexa just got up on her knees, pressing harder on her arms.

“Nope, you’re not getting out of this.”

“Alright, alright, you win!”

Clarke was both annoyed and impressed. She had done her fair share of play fighting with girls, and it was the first time she was pinned down against her will!

“Come on, Lexa. We get it, you’re strong.”

She started tickling the blonde’s sides, making her burst out in hysteric laughter.

“Ah!! No, Lexa stop! No!”

“Ticklish, I knew it! Admit you’re a kitten!”

“No!! Let me go!”

“Say the magical words, and I’ll let you go!”

“Never!”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, such a stubborn little thing…”

Lexa just kept on her attack. Clarke had tears in her eyes from all the laughing. It was torture!

“Okay! Okay! I’m a kitten! I’m gonna pee myself, Lexa!”

“There we go, see? Wasn’t that hard was it?”

“Shut up!”

Clarke was peeved, all admiration now gone, replaced solely by annoyance. She wasn’t a fucking kitten! Her eyes were stubbornly on the ceiling while Lexa lied down beside her, staying on her side to look at her. Lexa tentatively poked her side, but Clarke just swatted her hand away from her.

“I’m sorry, I was just playing around.”

Clarke stayed silent, unmoving.

“Clarke.”

She poked her again, getting the same reaction.

“…Do you want me to go?”

Lexa didn’t really know what had come over her, it wasn’t exactly usual for her to have that kind of behavior, and now she felt stupid and bad…She even flushed a bit at what she had done. The day had just been exhilarating in a way, she’d had more fun than she’s had in a very long time. She was rarely that playful, even in her relationship with Costia, who was one of the person she was the closest to, she had never acted that way.

Clarke finally turned around, and saw the vulnerable look on Lexa’s face who looked down the second their eyes met. She felt bad for her reaction, she really had to control herself better. She hated even thinking that she might have hurt Lexa’s feelings.

“No…I was being stupid, I’m sorry. I’m not mad.”

Lexa finally looked back up at her, still looking sheepish.

“Come on, I’ll let you put Cosmos on.”

Lexa’s face brightened a bit.

“I mean, you don’t really have a choice, I won the bet.”

“No, no, no! The bet was that you’d get to watch it!”

“No, I said “we watch my show” and as far as I know my show isn’t over yet.”

“That’s cheating! It wasn’t clearly explained!”

“Do you want to back off of this?”

“No! …I’m just saying it wasn’t clearly stated!”

“Next time you’ll read the fine prints more carefully.”

Clarke tried to poke her, but Lexa blocked her hand before she could touch her, so instead she huffed, grabbed her laptop and placed in on her lap.

“I think we should start back at the first episode.”

“What? No! I saw that one!”

“You saw like 3 minutes of it! The episode had barely started!”

“Yeah, well 3 minutes is more than enough.”

She clicked on the second episode before Lexa could say anything else. She grabbed a few pillows so they could get comfortable, but Lexa was still fidgeting, trying to find a good position, 5 minutes into the episode. Clarke hesitated before inching her arm progressively under Lexa’s pillow. Lexa froze a bit, and Clarke became really interested in whatever was on the ground in her periphery. After a pause, Lexa finally turned on her side, tentatively putting her cheek on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Not really smooth, champ.”

“You kept fidgeting, it messed with my focus.”

“Oh, cause _now_ you want to focus on the show?”

“Are you complaining? I can still take my arm back.”

“Focus.”

“Alright. And you’re welcome by the way.”

Lexa just smiled humorously and left an obnoxious kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you, o great Clarke Griffin, badass extraordinaire-”

 “See? That’s better”

“-and tiny little kitten.”

“Lexa!”

Lexa just kissed her again on the cheek, and that seemed to settle the blonde for now. Lexa didn’t know why she had done it the first time, she wasn’t usually that…affectionate to say the least. Deep down she knew why she had done it the second time, though…not that she’d ever admit it. She looked back at the screen, focusing on the show.

“Well at least, that’s one thing humankind did right!”

“What?”

“Dogs, Lexa! Are you even watching?”

“Yeah, sorry, just got lost in thoughts…”

“Well focus, woman! I’m enduring this for you!”

Clarke kept grumbling and huffing, and Lexa rolled her eyes at her theatrics. She settled one her hands on the blonde’s stomach, and started making circles on it until Clarke stopped her tantrum.

Clarke was so lulled by the gentle motion, she kept nodding off: her head constantly falling and popping back up as she tried to fight off the feeling. Lexa took pity on her, and finally put her hand against Clarke’s cheek, letting her head fall against her own.

“I knew you loved tummy rubs.”

“Shut it, Woods. We were having a moment.”

Lexa giggled (…since when did she freaking giggle?) before cuddling further into her, her nose making its way against Clarke’s neck in her own sleepy state. She just smelled so good, she couldn’t help it. She had kept the clothes she had borrowed, but the scent had been gone after a night. It held nothing to the real thing, though. Usually she would have been panicking and overthinking about what it all meant, but right now she was content to enjoy whatever this was, because it was for sure the most fun she’d had in a while.

To no one’s surprise, they fell asleep that way, Neil Degrasse’s voice being the only noise filling the room apart from little sleepy sighs.

\---

Lexa wasn’t happy to wake up, but the proposition of Chinese takeout at least seemed to appease her grumbling stomach.

“Why is it so long?”

“Lexa, I literally called five minutes ago.”

“But I’m hungry!”

“And food is on its way, you just got to be patient.”

Clarke was at her desk, working on something on her computer, and hadn’t even turned around. She heard Lexa whine and sort of move around on the bed. She heard more ruffling and grumbling so with an eye roll, she finally turned to face her.

She nearly burst out laughing at the sight. Lexa was entangled in the blanket nest she seemed to have been making, the best part was her face though. Clearly, someone had rubbed their eyes a bit too much! A thought came to her, and that broke the dam of her laughter.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You-…you look like…a raccoon!!”

Lexa pulled up her phone to look at her reflection. Her eyeliner had smudged all around her eyes. She felt like hitting her face against the wall a couple times…she knew she shouldn’t do it, but she couldn’t help but rub her eyes when tired, it just felt so good, especially after napping with her contacts on like an idiot. Just as she was going to do it again, she stopped herself and grabbed her bag. She always had her contacts stuff in her bag, time had taught her that only having her products at home wasn’t practical…Ever! She prepared everything, and just as she was taking off the first one, she noticed that the room was suddenly silent. When she looked up, she saw that Clarke was staring intently at her.

“Are you going to be weirded out?”

“What?”

“Most people hate seeing people take off their contacts.”

“Hm, I don’t know. I’ve never seen anyone do it, to be honest.”

Lexa delicately grabbed her left contact and took it off, closing her eyes a few times in relief.

“Weirded out, yet?”

“No, no.”

Clarke was still staring at her, weirdly fascinated by the act. Lexa took off the second, putting it away in the little case with the other one, checking again that she hadn’t messed up the order, before putting everything away.

“So you see even without your glasses?”

“I’m nearsighted, so it’s not the best, but as much as things are a bit blurry, it’s still manageable.”

“How many fingers?”

“Seriously, Clarke?”

Clarke had a little excited smile on, holding 1 finger up on her extended arm behind her.

“Smile all you want, I’m not doing it.”

“How do I know you can see then?”

“Because if you don’t pull that middle finger down, I’ll have to break it.”

“Hey! You’re the reason raccoons have a bad rep, you know that?”

She still put her finger down. Next thing she knew, a pillow was landing on her face.

“Don’t throw it back, I have glasses.”

Clarke looked up at her with outrage.

“Glasses-wearer privilege.”

Lexa then looked around her bag to see if she had anything to take off the smeared makeup on her face, but came up empty.

“Do you have anything to get that off my face?”

“Oh, yeah, I have some coconut oil somewhere around here…”

“I didn’t take you as one to follow beauty gurus’ tips”

“Well, you’ll learn that this thing is pretty much the remedy to anything, I didn’t have to wait for pinterest to know about it. My grandma’s been using it for decades. Just try it, it’s the best thing to remove eye makeup if you ask me.”

Lexa grabbed the jar with a doubtful look.

“You just apply it around your eyes and rub it in gently. Don’t put in it your eyes though, it blurs your vision for a bit, and clearly you don’t need that.”

Lexa tried to do as she was told. Only issue was that she usually did it with her contacts on, since she couldn’t see much that close without them. She could feel Clarke watching her so she give it her best shot.

“Wait, you still have some on your left eye…no, not there, higher, no, wait, let me do this.”

Clarke sat by her side and grabbed some more from the jar.

“Close your eyes.”

She gently applied it, letting her fingers roam Lexa’s face. She had never seen her from up-close like that with decent lightning. Lexa really was a thing of beauty, from her high cheekbones to her plump lips. Her eyes were so magnetic, that the blonde tended to just get lost in them, overlooking the rest of her face, but with her eyes closed it was like she could finally see all the details. Her eyes zeroed on the tiny beauty mark on her upper lip. It was the tiniest thing, but it just added to the perfection that was her mouth. Unconsciously Clarke slowly inched in closer, her eyes still on the brunette’s lips…

And then the door rang.

She jumped away, embarrassed.

“It’s hm…It’s probably our delivery, I’ll go get it, don’t move.”

And it indeed was, she paid for it, and closed back the door quickly before grabbing a towel and lightly wetting it with her water bottle.

“There you go, you just need to remove the oil with that.”

She handed it to Lexa and let her rub her face clean. Lexa didn’t seem weirded out in anyway. Clarke felt relieved, she probably hadn’t noticed her little…slip. She was attracted to Lexa, there was no denying it, but that didn’t mean acting on it was a good choice. She liked her, like genuinely liked her, and she didn’t know how she felt about possibly ruining whatever this was. Cause she would. That’s just what she does. That was why she was so closed-off, she didn’t want people to get too close, losing people just hurt too much, and losing Lexa would be…yeah, no, she couldn’t do that.

Lexa knew though, her heart was still beating fast and she was glad she had the towel to hide her flushed cheeks. She had felt Clarke lean in, her breath against her lips, her warmth getting closer to her own…But Clarke hadn’t kissed her. Saved by the bell, right?...Right? She didn’t know what to think of it. She had nearly backed away when she had first felt her close, but she hadn’t. She couldn’t really wrap her head around it. Obviously Clarke was hot and talented and sweet and cute and…but Clarke hadn’t kissed her, so clearly there was nothing to look into. They were fine, nothing had changed.

They both pretended nothing had happened, both focusing back on the subject at hand: food.

“How can you not like Cantonese fried rice? It’s a classic!”

“It’s overrated.”

“Come on, Lexa! It’s just rice, ham, egg and peas! Try it!”

“No thanks, I’ll pass.”

“Come on! For me! I’m sure you just need to give it another try!”

They were both sitting cross-legged on the floor, Clarke leaning toward Lexa with rice in her chopsticks. She wouldn’t let off, so Lexa ended up opening her mouth to let Clarke feed her. She grimaced as she bit into it, but still finished.

“Happy? Can I have some coke, now?”

“Oh come on! You like fried rice, you like ham and…oh my god! You don’t like peas!”

Lexa glared her way.

“Oh my god! Lexa McHealthnut doesn’t like peas!!”

“I’m not a health nut!”

“You literally had kale and almond smoothies every morning last year! And I’m pretty sure you did some sort of cleansing diet at some point!”

“How would you know that?”

“When you don’t talk to people, you spend a lot more time observing.”

“Stalker…”

“I prefer observer. And don’t try to distract me! Peas? Really?”

“…I just don’t like beans in general. I hate the texture of it, it disgusts me. But apart from that I love all vegetables.”

“I’m shook.”

“Shut up and eat.”

“Okay, wait, wait, wait!”

Clarke carefully picked out the peas at the top of the contained, and grabbed some more rice.

“What about this way then?”

She pulled it in front of Lexa again, who looked at her as she opened her mouth. Clarke’s thoughts drifted a bit then, her eyes slowly drifting down to Lexa’s plump lips blowing on the steaming rice before closing around her chopsticks. She was so lost in thoughts that she pulled back the chopsticks a bit too fast and some rice fell down in Lexa’s shirt.

“Clarke!”

“Shit, I’m sorry!”

Lexa pulled her shirt away from her to look at the damage. She had rice all over. She started picking it up with her other hand and when she raised back her head, she caught Clarke ogling at her, chopsticks still halfway between them.

“A little help, maybe?”

“What? Oh, yeah!”

Clarke reached out and grabbed a bit of rice on Lexa’s cleavage with a gulp.

“I was thinking more along the way of giving me a napkin, but why not…”

“Sorry!”

Clarke retracted her hand as if she was burnt, and turned away to grab a napkin in the bag before handing it to Lexa.

“Thank you.”

Clarke kept her eyes away from her for the rest of the cleanup process. She was such an idiot! That was worthy of a teenage boy at best!

“You okay there, Clarke?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! Don’t worry, sorry for the hm, for the rice. I got… I was thinking of something else.”

Lexa tried to hide the little smile that wanted to bloom on her face and started eating again.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay, it’s all fixed now.”

They kept eating, the uneasy feeling and shame progressively leaving Clarke as Lexa started a couple random conversations.

“Goood…I’m so full! Ugh, whyyyy…”

Clarke crawled to her bed and messily got on it.

“You just ate your weight in Kung Pao Chicken.”

“But it’s so good!!”

“Doesn’t mean you should eat for three.”

“Are you calling me fat? For your information, I’m very fit, alright?”

Just to prove her point, she sat on the edge of her bed and lifted up her shirt to show her abs. Lexa let her eyes roam the blonde’s stomach a bit longer than what would be deemed acceptable for a simple observation, and when she looked up, Clarke was looking at her smugly. Dark green eyes were looking at her, and she was really hoping her photographic memory was doing its job, because that look was probably going to haunt her for a while.

“Enjoying the view?”

Lexa rolled her eyes and through a balled up napkin at her face. She had, though. She really, really had. She had never been particularly attracted to abs before. Costia was rather feminine, all soft curves and soft skin, and all her crushes before had been like this too. Still, Clarke’s tomboyish charm did things to her…

“Don’t flatter yourself, champ. It’s a wonder you manage to have abs with how you live. I’m merely surprised.”

She looked up at the shelf on Clarke’s desk, looking at the rows of lucky charms and ramen noodle packs before looking back at Clarke with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey! For your information I go running every morning!”

“Really? How come I never see you?”

“You run too?”

“You’re not the only one who’s fit.”

She then raised her own shirt, showing off her abs too. Clarke thought they were the most adorable thing. They weren’t as prominent as hers, but you could definitely see their contour clearly. Her stomach looked soft, and the blonde could feel her fingers tingle with the yearning to touch it.

“Now who’s enjoying the view?”

“Do you know what that means?”

Lexa looked confused before shaking her head.

“That you totally were enjoying watching mine!!”

Clarke was pointing at her with a victorious smile.

“Shut up, Griffin!”

“Just admit I’m right, Woods!”

“Oh my god, you’re insufferable!”

“That just makes you like me more!”

“No, you’re annoying, I’m going.”

Clarke went from victorious to kicked puppy in a matter of second.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you.”

“Yes you did, but lighten up, buttercup. It’s just late, and I need to go home.”

“I’ll walk you home!”

“I’m good, don’t worry!”

“I’ll walk you to the door!”

Lexa looked at the door that was 3 feet away from her with another raised eyebrow.

“Not this door, the dorm’s door.”

It was said with exasperation which made Lexa smile a little.

“I’m good, champ.”

She could see that Clarke was struggling to figure out something to do to make it better as she was grabbing her things. An idea came to her mind and she hesitated a bit, until Clarke started to look down at her hands dejectedly.

“What about we go running together tomorrow morning?”

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

“Yes! I mean, uh, that could be cool. I’ll show you the trail I use if you want?”

“That sounds nice. So, tomorrow at 7 in front of your dorm?”

“I’ll meet you in front of yours, it’s actually closer.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow champ.”

“Good night Lexa.”

“Good night Clarke.”

And just like that she left the room, strangely happy and relieved to have made Clarke smile again. She leaned back against the wall for a bit, trying to get a hold of herself as the silliest grin was on her face as she was thinking back on her day. On the other side of the wall, Clarke was in the same position. It was scary really how the brunette could just shift her mood like that. As bad thoughts were starting to loom around the corner, she shook them off. As much as she knew this could all hurt her really bad in the future, she just craved Lexa’s presence too much to give it up just yet. She just had to be careful, and not let the girl come too close. Yeah, as long as she did that she’d be okay. She decided to just overlook the fact that all walls were already cracking and crumbling down after just one afternoon spent together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys far all the kudos and comments, please keep them coming, I'm a sucker for comments :P !


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone, been a little while, huh? Real life is getting in the way a bit too much recently, but here it is! New chapter, a bit shorter than usual, but here’s 4k+ words for you guys! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support, it really helps me stay motivated!
> 
> Enjoy!

It was 6.50am and Clarke was already standing in front of Lexa’s dorm, fidgeting like an idiot in the chilly morning air. It was still dark, but Clarke knew that the sun would start to rise once they’d be on their way. She had been up since like 5.30, which was ridiculous! And she was wearing mascara, which was even more ridiculous! She took some deep breaths. She had to calm down. She was being silly, it was just a run! She rolled her eyes just thinking about how long she had taken to pick clothes. She had ended up picking some grey running shorts, her favorite black Nike sports bra and a white cut-off muscle shirt, which was good, right? Yeah. Yeah, she was fine. Just a little morning run! With a friend, that sure was attractive, and funny, and cute…no! With a friend, period. Focus, Clarke!

“Did you snort coffee, or something?”

Clarke startled and turned around, a little smirk appearing on her face at how grumpy Lexa looked. It melted off pretty quickly when she noticed that Lexa was wearing low-waisted joggers with just a sports bra.

“Don’t try to look too happy to see me, champ.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. Good morning!”

Lexa just rolled her eyes at her.

“So where are we going?”

“Follow me.”

Lexa starting jogging alongside the blonde, her grumpiness already lifting seeing Clarke be so troubled by her outfit. Maybe she had spent a little more time than usual choosing what she would put on this morning, but it was just because she liked to make a good impression, and her usual ratty shorts and her cousin’s extra-large shirt didn’t feel like making a good impression.

Clarke had them take the trail going up one of the hills surrounding the campus, Lexa was used to running on a rather flat surface, and had to take a break halfway through to catch her breath.

“Slacking on me already?”

“Why…on earth…would you go climbing up a hill…instead of going to the track field?!”

“Less crowdy, and the view is pretty awesome up here.”

“It better be worth it, Griffin.”

“It is. You’ll see.”

Clarke started jogging again, and Lexa followed her with a little grunt. Clarke had to repress her laugh each time Lexa would groan or huff when Clarke would take them on a new small trail around the hill. Really, she was doing it for her benefit! The slope was pretty steep and the brunette didn’t have the right shoes on to try to go up without risking to slide back down, so the little trails had to do.

Finally, they reached the top, and with a flourish Clarke announced their arrival.

“We made it to the top! Now, isn’t that the prettiest view of campus you’ve ever seen?”

When she heard no answer, she turned around to find Lexa sprawled out on the ground.

“I feel like you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“I…hate…you.”

“Now, don’t be mean! And don’t talk, take big breaths or you’ll give yourself a stitch in the side.”

“Fuck you…and your hill.”

“Not as athletic as you thought you were, huh? It’s okay, it takes a little bit to get used to it, but it’s worth it. You don’t have to run that long.”

“It took us forever!”

“Technically it took us less than half an hour, and I do it in less, but I couldn’t have you fall to your death trying to climb up this thing.”

Lexa was stunned, it felt like they had been running for at least an hour, and if you were to ask her legs, they’d probably say two days.

“Come on, sit up or you’ll miss it!”

The brunette threw daggers with her eyes at Clarke’s back before basically crawling to sit by her side. Everything became silent as the sun started to peak through the hills on the other side. Lexa had to admit that the view was marvelous. The sun was rising in front of them, bathing the campus in morning light, while they could vaguely hear the waves crashing on the shore a few miles away. The ocean started glittering as if it was covered in diamonds, and Lexa felt surrounded by a sense of peace she had never experienced before.

“This is my favorite place on campus.”

“I think I get why…How did you discover this place?”

“I just needed to think one day, and I like going to high spots…I don’t know, it helps me put things in perspective. Things just seem more manageable from up above.”

Lexa turned to look at her instead of the view. She was sitting with her chin on her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs. This girl was a mystery, and she couldn’t look away from her sight. Silence fell once again between them, and after a bit Clarke turned self-consciously toward Lexa, feeling her eyes on her.

“What?”

“Nothing, you just…surprise me.”

“Not as shallow as you thought, huh?”

 Lexa gently shoved her arm, her smirk was unnerving, but she couldn’t help but smile herself. Clarke lost her balance and ended up lying on her back.

“Be nice, woman! Now come here.”

“Why?”

“Just come here, you’re going to miss the second best thing about this place.”

Lexa hesitated for a bit, before lying down beside Clarke upon her insistent patting of the spot.

“Alright, don’t move and don’t scream!”

“What?”

Just as the first rays of sun were going to hit the hill, a huge flock of bats rushed above them. Clarke felt Lexa tense beside her, and turned to see she had closed her eyes. She gently put her hand in hers and put her mouth beside her ear to whisper.

“It’s okay, they’re harmless, open your eyes.”

Lexa tried to turn to look at her, realizing at the last minute how close their faces were. They both stared at each other for a second, before Clarke got her bearings back, giving her an encouraging smile before looking back up at the hundreds of bats flying overhead. Lexa observed the blonde’s profile for a bit longer, taking in how bluer her eyes looked with the rising sun, the pink flush on her cheeks from running,  the small peaceful smile on her lips, the hypnotizing curve of her jaw…alright, back to the bats, Lexa!

“Where do they go?”

“There’s a little cave on the other side.”

“How do you know?”

“Well…I might have went in that cave one evening in the beginning, and run out scared half to death followed by these little motherfuckers…”

Lexa burst laughter, hardly noticing Clarke’s jab to her stomach.

“I just wasn’t expecting it! I got one stuck in my hair when I was a kid, so now, I try to keep to the floor when I see some.”

If anything, it only made Lexa’s hilarity worse.

“Is that, is that why you wear caps? Afraid a bat might get stuck in there?”

“No, I just look particularly good with a cap. Would you stop laughing?!”

Clarke was getting pouty, and it was making it really hard for Lexa to calm down.

“I’m going to leave you on this hill.”

“Careful, champ! There might be some late bats flying around!”

Okay, that wasn’t cool. Clarke was really going to go, but now that the thought had entered her mind, she didn’t feel like getting up anymore…great! Instead she rolled to her side, so she wouldn’t have to watch Lexa cackling.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Lexa finally managed to calm down, and turned on her side too, to face Clarke’s back. She put her elbow down to get some leverage and actually see Clarke’s face, which was still stuck in a pout.

“Clarke?”

She tentatively poked her cheek, but Clarke still didn’t answer.

“I was just teasing, you have to admit it’s hilarious.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh at me nearly dying from a heart attack!”

“Dramatic, much?”

“I could have died! I was wearing flip flops!”

 This time Lexa managed to hold back her laugh, but it was no easy task. The image of Clarke running down the hill in flip-flops, probably holding down her cap while being chased by bats was definitely something she’d pay to watch!

“Nah, you’re Clarke badass extraordinaire Griffin. A little flock of bats and flip flops wouldn’t be enough to get you down.”

Lexa was learning that a little ego stroking always worked wonders on the blonde. Yet, she couldn’t help herself as she saw the smug smirk appear on her mouth.

“…And I mean, cats have 9 lives and always land on their feet, you know.”

Clarke just grabbed some fallen leaves and threw them at her face.

“Clarke! Ah! There’s something crawling on me! Take it off, take it off!!”

The blonde looked at her dumbfounded for a second. Lexa was wiggling around in panic, moving her head back, as if trying to distance it from the rest of her body. She finally noticed a little bug crawling on Lexa’s neck, and grabbed it, pulling it up to show her.

“It’s just a little earwig, see? It’s nothing.”

“Ah! Put it away, put it away!!”

The sight of the bug only seemed to worsen things, as Lexa curled up on herself as far away from her hand as possible.

“Of all things, harmless bugs are what scares you?”

Lexa wasn’t paying any attention to her, though. Too focused on patting her arms and hair, obsessively checking for more bugs.

“Hey, hey, Lexa, it’s gone, you’re fine. No more bugs, okay?”

She took a hold of her wrists, rubbing soothing circles on them.

“Take a deep breath, okay? Everything’s alright.”

She finally managed to catch her eyes, taking deep breaths herself until Lexa started to mimic her.

“That’s it, great job. You’re fine, it’s gone now.”

It was the first time Clarke was seeing Lexa so unsettled, and she didn’t know what to do about it.

“Do you need a hug? You look like you might need a hug…Okay, you’re still not talking, let’s try a hug, okay?”

Clarke plucked her up from the ground as gracefully as she could, settling on putting her on her lap so that most of her body wouldn’t be on the ground and its creepy crawlers anymore. She didn’t really know where to go from here. Most of her friends were more the pat in the back/punch on the shoulder sort of people, and so far Lexa had been the one taking the initiative mostly (her drunken-self too at some point, but that didn’t really count, did it?) She tentatively put her arms around Lexa, guiding her head like a baby so it would lay on her shoulder. She then started stroking her back in long movements, trying to be comforting even though both their bodies were pretty stiff.

When Lexa finally started to cave in, Clarke followed, daring to pull her a bit closer as Lexa was nuzzling against her neck, moving the hand on the back of her neck a bit lower to play with her hair.

“So…bugs, huh?”

All she got was a slap to the shoulder.

“Hey! Stop hitting me, woman! I’m not mocking you, just asking!”

“…I had a bad experience with earwigs as a kid.”

Clarke was expecting her to follow through with this, but the brunette just nuzzled in deeper with a little shiver.

“You do know that you have to tell me more now, right?”

“…I had this little plastic slide, it was old and a bit broken, but I still loved it. The plastic was cracked at the top, and one morning, Anya and I woke up super early to go play outside-”

“Who’s Anya?”

“My cousin. Do you want to hear the story?”

“Yes, sorry, just got sidetracked.”

“So, we were playing in the garden, and I decided to go play on it, and I think I jostled it a bit too much when I sat down, because when I slid down, hundreds of earwigs followed. They had made a nest inside the slide, and they just poured down as I went. They were everywhere in my hair, legs and arms, it was awful.”

Lexa shivered again just thinking about it, but felt warmth spread through her as Clarke held her a bit closer to her chest.

“…Lincoln, my other cousin, kept saying that one might have gone in my ear and might be digging its way through my brain and kill me. I had nightmares for months after that.”

By reflex, she started rubbing at her exposed ear. Lincoln had been the first one to see them running back to the house, let’s just say that their parents hadn’t been too happy to wake up to comfort a 7-year-old screaming and crying that she was dying. Lincoln had been grounded for a month after that stunt. Soon her hand was removed from her ear, and soft hands started a careful examination of it, soon stopping to gently trace it instead. That gave her another little shiver, she really enjoyed when people would touch her ears, always finding comfort in the sort of white noise it would create.

“Seems to me that this tiny ear is earwig-free. They really aren’t dangerous, you know that right?”

“Yeah, my dad actually had me watch a whole documentary on them. He said it was okay to be scared, but that I had to at least know they were harmless.”

“Did it help?”

“Gave me nightmares for another month!”

Both girls laughed at that, finally truly relaxing. Clarke unconsciously kept on gently tracing and stroking Lexa’s ear, and it felt so good, she might have fallen asleep right there.

“I guess that’s the difference between the US and Australia, you can only worry about the actual dangerous ones over there, just because there are so many of them! If not, you wouldn’t leave your house. Hell! You probably wouldn’t even want to live in a house!”

“Have you ever seen a black widow?”

“I grew up with those bastards hiding in my shoes…To this day I still tap down my shoes in the morning by force of habit. We lived pretty out of the city, so we had our fair share of near death experiences.”

“Must be awful.”

“I don’t know…I mean, when you grow up in it, it’s not that bad. You learn to live with it, pretty much.”

“Alright, Crocodile Dundee! Had any fist fights with kangaroos?”

“Ah, ah, ah, very funny and original miss “earwigs will eat my brain”.”

Clarke was ready for the slap this time, and stopped it with one hand, keeping it trapped between them so that the beating would stop.

“What did I say about hitting?”

“Don’t mock me, just because you’re all fearless and badass doesn’t mean that you can do that.”

“I’m not fearless at all when it comes to bugs and pests, they just look a bit less intimidating over here. Try waking up to a freaking boa constrictor sunbathing on your patio or a huntsman spider as big as your face in the corner of your bathroom. Even freaking earwigs look more intimidating down under.”

Lexa shook her head to get the image out of her mind. They stayed silent for a bit, Lexa pondering whether she could ask the question constantly in her mind since she had known Clarke or not. Since they were having a little heart to heart, maybe it was the right time?

“…How come you don’t sound Australian?”

Clarke moved her back a bit to look at her. Lexa wasn’t too pleased, but really that hug was maybe a bit too long for just an earwig. It was time to stop acting like a baby.

“What? You’d rather have me be all like “G’day, mate!”?”

“Not necessarily, but you have little to no accent, I only ever heard it while you were drunk or like really mad. It’s just surprising for someone who grew up in Australia. Just like it would be weird if I had a perfect Australian accent.”

Lexa got her there.

“My dad grew up in Maine. His dad was in the military and he was stationed in the US for years. Growing up I just liked his accent better, so it’s the one I mimicked I guess. I mean, I can totally do an Australian one, and used it when I was back there, but I always dreamed of coming here. I guess I didn’t want to stand out.”

“Yeah…Didn’t really work out too well, did it?”

“You can say that…But hey! I can totally fool an officer long enough to get off the hook and not kicked out of the country!”

“Didn’t think you were enough of a delinquent to actually do things that might risk your visa.”

“Oh _I_ don’t, but I don’t always have the best taste when it comes to picking friends.”

“Wow, thanks. We haven’t even been friends a week and I’m already enduring that kind of talk.”

“Well, I _do_ have one exception.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes…Monty. Monty’s an angel. Raven is a pyromaniac, Jasper always has weed or alcohol on him and you are way too violent with me.”

Lexa gave her yet another slap, and Clarke just pointed a finger at her.

“See? Always hitting me!”

“You need someone to knock some sense into you.”

“How altruistic of you!”

They kept bantering back and forth for a bit, until Lexa finally realized how high the sun was getting in the sky. She tried to check Clarke’s watch, but was surprised to realize that it was still displaying the same time as it was in the library yesterday. Before she could point it out though,  Clarke turned the watch around so she couldn’t see the dial anymore.

“It’s getting late, we should go back. Wouldn’t want to be late to class, now, would we?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

The trek down was nearly harder for Lexa than the way up. Her shoes kept slipping, and without Clarke’s helping hand in hers, she would have probably rolled down the hill to her death a long while ago.

“So…is that what you do? Bring girls up the hill, watch the sunset, watch them tumble and die down said hill, then hide the body in the cave to be eaten away by bats?”

“That was oddly specific.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“Fine, inspector. The answer is no. I…I’ve actually never taken anyone up there before.”

Lexa looked up at her with surprise, and Clarke felt herself blush. She didn’t know why she had just admitted that, but she was quick to try and downplay it.

“I mean…you know, I don’t have much friends and they’re all lazy asses, so…”

She coughed for good measure at the end, not really sure how to finish that thought. Clearly it wasn’t enough to convince Lexa who was looking at her still with a sweet smile and knowing eyes. She even pressed her hand a bit harder in hers for a second, before starting back on their way down.

Lexa could feel how self-conscious Clarke was about her admission, and decided to give her a free pass on that one. Really, she didn’t know what to do with the information either, and knew better than to try to push it. She was flattered though. She knew how private Clarke was, and though she knew she was only scraping the surface, she was still astonished each and everytime Clarke let her in a bit more.

Thankfully they managed to get down without anyone getting hurt. Maybe their overall relief and sense of accomplishment of this small feat could explain why they were still holding hands now that they were back on flat land. Faithfully to their dynamic, the duo was bickering away on their way back to Lexa’s dorm.

“…Well clearly you did it hard enough for me to bruise!”

“Oh yeah? Sure it has nothing to do with you hulking out the other night, by any chance?”

“And how in the hell, inspector Woods, would I have gotten hit _there_ during that fight?”

 “Well, well, well…I knew you were bossy Ms. Woods, but I didn’t think you were also kinky!”

Lexa and Clarke startled at the sound of Raven’s voice approaching behind them.

“For fuck’s sake, Raven! How many times do I need to tell you not to sneak up on me?!”

“Now, now, it would have been a shame for me to miss on all those gritty details!”

The Latina even added a little eyebrow wiggle to it.

“There are no details of any sort, Reyes.”

“Well, you two sure look cosy this morning, though.”

Her eyes drifted pointedly to their joined hands, which were separated instantly when the two girls realized that they were still holding hands.

“Sure about that, Strayer?”

“Positive.”

“We just went running. I nearly slipped down the hill, Clarke just grabbed my hand to help me out.”

“I don’t know where to start…We’ll go back to the fact that you’re still holding hands though you’re now very much on a flat surface, let’s focus on something first: The hill? THE hill? You took her there?”

Raven’s attention was now purely on Clarke.

“Yeah…We just…We agreed to go running together this morning.”

“So you took her to THE hill?”

“Can you stop emphasizing that freaking “the”!”

“Don’t try to downplay this! You took bossy pants to the hill!”

“You do know my name is Lexa, right?”

“Not the moment to be patronizing, bossy pants.”

Clarke felt herself under Raven’s accusing eyes and Lexa’s curious ones. That was going to be a tough moment to get out of.

“What’s wrong with bringing me up the hill?”

“Well, turns out Bossy-”

 “Lexa”

“I’m trying to give you some insight here, you’re messing with my groove. Just bear with me.”

Raven waited until Lexa nodded with an eye roll to keep on going.

“Good, so you’ll learn that this little motherfucker here has never brought anyone up there! Not that we didn’t ask her to, by the way! So now stop bullshitting me, and just tell me what is going on between you two.”

Lexa looked back at Clarke with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Clarke, though, was glaring at the ground so hard it could probably drill a hole right through it. Her fists were clenched by her side, trembling just enough for Lexa to know that she was struggling to keep her composure. Her cheeks were flushed in humiliation and her jaws locked tightly. Yeah, no, Lexa wasn’t having a repeat of Saturday’s night.

“She annoys me just enough for me to enjoy hanging out with her, so yesterday we decided to go run together, and that asshole tried to give me a heart attack by having me nearly be attacked by bats. End of the story, so have a good day Raven. Come on Champ, we still got to get back.”

Both Raven and Clarke were staring stunned at her, and Lexa used that moment to grab back the hand of Clarke and start walking them back to their dorms, quickly putting distance between them and the Latina. She dared a quick look at the blonde only to realize that she was already looking at her with a little smile.

“Thanks.”

“Didn’t want you to hulk out again.”

Clarke stopped walking at that and gently pulled on Lexa’s hand for her to face her.

“Don’t…I’m not…”

She looked up at the sky and took a big breath to recollect her thoughts.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t do that…that often. I wouldn’t have done that. I know sometimes I lose control, but I would never hurt you or Raven. It just made me feel…stupid. I wasn’t going to lash out, I was just…I don’t know. But you really don’t have to worry…I don’t want you to be afraid of me…”

Clarke couldn’t sustain her eyes, and started picking at the hair tie on her wrist with her free hand. She hated the thought that Lexa might think she was that unstable. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t at all, but she could control it better now. As much as she liked how it kept unwanted people at bay, the fact that it might affect her relationship with Lexa made the beast inside of her want to curl up and hide in a corner.

“Hey…I’m not afraid. Even if you were to do it again, I’d put you on your ass in 5 seconds, we both know that.”

As she spoke, Lexa grabbed Clarke’s chin and made her look back at her. That was more like it! She hated the kicked puppy look she had on right now, so when Clarke finally got out of her grasp at the end with an annoyed smile, Lexa felt relief bloom in her stomach. Her Clarke was back.

“Yeah, yeah…you’re a ninja, we got it!”

“Oh come on, if that makes you feel better, I’ll make you believe that you got one in.”

Clarke pushed her with still the same smile on her smile, incapable of taking it off of her face when looking at Lexa’s goofy one.

“Come on, Champ. I’ll walk you back. Wouldn’t want you to get jumped.”

“You know what, turns out you might be too annoying for me.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, and pulled her along back to the Aussie’s dorm.

“Less nonsense, more walking, we’re going to be late and I really don’t feel like running to class after that climb.”


End file.
